Rap Dudes

Yo Ben

I might need to burn that new black mountain record ...and i want you to sell me a pt cruiser

Songs About Cigarettes

A couple weeks back someone referred to me as "basically an adolescent" ...this was meant as a zinger but I took as a compliment. Being an adolescent in adulthood is waaaaaay better than being an actual teenager (of the year) ...or an adult for that matter. Speaking of adolescence ...

For no reason at all, I downloaded '24 hour revenge therapy' (sorry blake I wasn't really trying to pay for that again) ... dude, bro ... that record is kinda a BEAST ...it's like the musical equivalent of a wild boar... I mean for a record that is essentially about smoking cigs and hanging out at punk rock concerts ... shows I meant shows ... shit ... it’s pretty fucking GOOD...I’m sure it just nostalgia ...but other morning at 8am dressing for a job I’m not super stoaked about anymore ...I came pretty effing close to dying my hair some stupid color, throwing on a dead kennedys shirt, start furiously chaining smoking, and go tell someone who looks like he might teach high school to go eff himself ... But instead I went to work and did my job (kinda)

What I'm trying to say is: fuck, I kinda got really fuckin' "hyped" when "West Bay Invitational" comes in ... what a sad sack of shit that guy was ... and you know what ... god bless 'em for it ... am I right? this myspace page got some other toonage: also apparently there’s a band called "jawfaker" ...which ...well...kinda suck ...but whatever

The Boat Dreams from the Hill


Condition Oakland


West Bay Invitational


PS young felton is 6 weeks without a stog ... I've been there and all i can say is 'atta boy'

Happy Valentine's Day

and for you lovers out there

Slow Down

Obviously Tallian and myself love the '90s -- we have pulses. But, sometimes it's important to take it back a couple decades, ya heard? So I'm giving you dudes this little slice of golden heaven. Obviously, Rod Stewart struck out a few times but he also hit some grand slams. I challenge any of you chowda-heads to roll out on a Saturday night looking this tough. Try it. Can't be done. Slow down.

The Soft Rock Renegade

If you're a guy like me, you spend at least some of your time thinking about who is badass and who isn't. Maybe it's being from new york, maybe it's like a family/gene thing, or maybe i'm just sick in the head.

That was kinda always my issue with indie rock ...it never really had any balls, and you know sometimes you want something with a ...well ...some fuckin balls. Don’t get me wrong i like music made by huge loser-nerds ... i mean i probably know more about the facts of morrissey's life than some of my good friends

However, sometimes you look at some shit like this and you're like fucking shit this is TOUGH ... i need to get on tv ...backed by two fat brothers, high as a kite, with a black eye and just scare the shit of letterman (wait what? BIG BLUE) ... thanks for sending me this josh ... so effing rad ...



So me and ben are gonna go see this dude and dulli (and lord knows SORB loves us some dulli) kick out the jams in a month .... it could get real intense

Happy 120: Part 2

I just received an email from a dear friend that went like this:

dear suckton,

I read your newest post just moments ago, and while I applaud the subject matter-who could argue that those talented dudes have been largely overlooked-I'm confused by your song choice. I know you wanted to go a bit more obscure than 'Cult', but what's wrong with 'Funny Vibe' for chrissakes? Or one of the gems on Times Up or Stain? 'Open Letter' could be a Motley Crue song if you just changed the lyrics in the chorus to shit about hot tubs and Harley's.
Better yet, why not just a post dedicated to Muzz Skillings? I wonder what he's doing now...probably giving bass lessons to little kids who will eventually become you and Silk...

ALSO, after reading that RFTC post, I was reminded of when we saw them at Irving Plaza and had an extra ticket. I asked some dude in a big hooded parka if he needed a ticket, to which he replied "Hell no, who want's to see THIS fucking band", and then proceeded to walk in the side door. Was it you, or Rosenberg who then pointed out to me that I had just offered to scalp Speedo a ticket to his own show?

good times.

I replied:

Dearest Matthew,

Thanks for reading. I would like to respond to your beefs. First of all, I'm not sure if you checked all the links, but the "shred your damn faces" sentence will take you to a video of them performing "Cult" on Arsenio that will pretty much de-virginize you. "Glamor Boys," well, well that video is so ridiculous I had to include it. As far as "Open Letter to a Landlord" is concerned, I have to disagree. I've always loved that song, and being that SORB is a New York bog I felt it would be a good fit. And, as I mentioned, I've been thinking about that one a lot lately. I certainly should have included some stuff from Stained. "Leave it Alone" and "Bi" were definitely fucking monsters. I guess it slipped my mind. Perhaps a follow-up post should be in order.

As for your birthday RFTC show, I absolutely remember that. However, I seem to recall it being Nick Kramer who tried to scalp a ticket to Speedo. Could be wrong. Either way, it was Rosenberg that pointed it out.

I want so bad for you to stick your finger in my peanut butter.

--Ben


So here's a little more, bitches.

Funny Vibe

Leave it Alone

Happy 120

TGI 120 Day, dudes -- my favorite part of the week. Yesterday, Talihan wrote of a certain life-changing show that we went to at CBGB back in the day. Just to back the dude up, he was right. Also, I'd like to add that at that show I didn't wear ear plugs (which I used to do but don't anymore, poseurs) and my little fifteen year-old ears rang for a week. I ended up going to the doctor who told me I would have unnoticeable but permanent ear damage -- I was stoked beyond stoked.

I bring this story about the RFTC show up, because it was part of the year that got the going-to-shows ball rolling. For many people, going to rock shows in high school was the way it was. Before the bars, and, well, the bars, social events of the weeks were at Roseland, Irving Plaza or the Academy (RIP), where I went to my first alt show ever. The openers were a new up and coming band called Candlebox. They were opening for a band called Living Colour.
Living Colour were tough as nails. Tell me what other band has been able to take the stage wearing bike shorts and playing neon-swirly-painted (whatever the fuck that means) guitars and still find a way to shred your damn faces off. What? Can't think of one? That's because there were not others.

Vivid was one of the first CDs I ever got and for some reason I've been thinking about this song a lot lately.



Alas, the boys called it quits. A few comebacks here and there, but it was never the same. Their impact, however, was never forgotten.

See you in the pit.

P.S. They used to wear damn wetsuits, too.

Speedo is the Fuckin Balls

What I don't know about John Reis could fill a fuckin library ...but what I do know he is kinda the best ever.

But let me tell you a little story ...

Once upon a time me and young felton were in ninth grade (clearly my sense of humor never left 1993). Like anybody in 9th grade worth a damn, we we trying to be you know a little badass ... hair dying, smoking, pot, esoteric band t-shirts, etc. Okay maybe not badass, but better than the usual.

So the bff (BEN FUCKING FELTON) is like let's go see that band rocket from the crypt at CBGBs. 'Cause you know we had seen sturdy wrists video on the 'ol mtv, and immediately brought (or I think my brother might've stolen it from HMV) the tape of circa: now! Holy pitballs is that a great record. So we roll out with my brother and this dude luke.

Ben had his dinosaur jr t-shirt, and I had my orange hair (except for the big black part where I miss a huge portion of my hair), and we just trying to be fuckin boss, ya know.

And, guess what? we WERE fuckin boss. (At the time and for many years afterward I spent a shitload of time smoking pot, so I don't remember much about the blessed event) However I will never forget the feeling I got of my heart pumping fucking gasoline when Rocket from the Crypt hit the stage. The entire world changed in a way that has yet to be rectified
(ps jawbox and the grifters played,but this is a John Reis post)

A couple months later, in another super RAWK N ROLL move, Ben's parents took us to holocaust museum in D.C. During this trip Ben's purchased a CD of an album called YANK CRIME. I remember chain smoking camel un-filters we got from one of those old machines (man those machines were the best when we were kids) looking at the cd cover.

Then, you know, dudes went to college ...whatever whatever ... RFTC gets back together and it's kinda not super great; Drive like jehu is a wrap. Then all of sudden instead of Y2K, an even bigger "problem" steps on to the world historical stage ... a little record called Automatic Midnight

Then he had that band the sultans, which was real fuckin rad, 'cept they never played.

Now he's got some new deal called the Night Marchers ... so get ready to have your whole situation get topsy turvyed

What I'm trying to say is John Reis ... can we get married already

PS this girl is NOT afraid

SUPERMANNING THESE HOS

Good Times (for a change?) ...actually ...eff that... GREAT FUCKIN TIMES ... the GIANTS have pulled off the greatest victory in history. The Pats have been CRUSHED. Eli Manning/Justin Tuck/Osi/Strahan/Tyree/Smith/Plaxico may be most important men in America and Tiki Barber is the worst dude evah ... I've been watching sports center all day long ... Dude this is a win for the ages and I will love every minute of it ... The one thing is ... my brother at one point during the game promised to rename his son Plaxico Eli "Talihan" ...that could get ruff ...

Honestly the victory is too heavy for words at this point. Suffice to say, it blew my mind and I turned into a 10 year old boy: hooting, hollering, and jumping up and down . I watched the game near a sketchy part of Brooklyn; I'm 89% sure I heard gunshots. After that, we were up till like 4am just high fiving every fucking duder in site. At one point we went to the east village ...not too many fans ...so we chanted "FASHION WEEK"(ed: it was supposed to be archers of loaf) and "INDIE ROCK." As they say, when in Rome ...ps the sebadoh reunion kinda blew chunks.

Honestly when the play (that starts at 0:20 in this video) happened: I had at least two heart attacks (which was the name of the hardcore band the dude who writes the Big Takeover was in) and a stroke

If you curios about the title of the post: you may be familiar with this beast of a song. So, my buddy came up with "supermanning these hos" during this historic giants run(i think it was the packers game, might've been dallas).

However, you may not be aware what the song is about. To "superman a ho," one must have anal sex with a woman (And not just any women apprantley. She msut be a women of "loose morals"), and then ejaculate on her. This would lead to having her get stuck to the sheet, thus causing her have a cape like superman ...PRETTY FUCKIN BOLD

PS I like the yanks, sue me

PPS its kinda "death by a thousand links" ...deals with it ...I’m on 3 hours of sleep.

Nice Work, Fellas

Now, let's fucking go, Mets

Old Age

Some guy once told me that if he ever got rich, he'd use all his money to make Polvo famous. I'm not sure that I was old enough back then to understand why that would have been such a great idea, but I do now. Loose t-shirts plus out of tune melodies equals some seriously tough indie rock. If you don't agree, then you were deprived of a childhood. Although Polvo are no more, it looks like those rad-as-hell people at ATP have struck reunion gold yet again. Next stop, New York?



Oh, and I hope none of you were planning on seeing Om this week. If you were -- bummer, dude.

Happy 120

Welcome to round two of 120 Minutes Friday. I'm actually totally shocked that I've managed to commit to more than one of these things. Wild. To know Mr. Talihan and myself is to know that we've been long time supporters of alternative rock. In fact, I believe our friendship sprouted in 9th grade when Talihan asked me what kind of music I liked. Trying to sound whatever, I gave him a long, eclectic list. But, when I got to "alternative" he stopped me and simply said, "Oh, alternative? Yeah, me too." The rest is history. One of these alt bands that we've been sweatin' for quite some time is The Afghan Whigs. With lyrics like: Ladies let me tell you about myself/I got a dick for a brain/and my brain is gonna sell my ass to you/Now I'm okay, but in time I'll find I'm stuck/'Cause she wants love and I still wanna fuck, any male from ages 15 through 98 would pretty much consider singer Greg Dulli a golden god. "Honkey's Ladder" off the Black Love record was one of my favorite jams and this video for it has a little extra treat. Turn the volume up a bit:



Matt Pinfield! Holy shit! I haven't thought about you in years, sweet prince! He was great. MTV said, "Hey -- fuck a bunch of pretty boys and quirky girls. Let's get a short, fat, bald dude that loves the Buzzcocks to VJ for us. That'll show 'em." And they did. Once, in high school, a friend of mine and I went to see Sonic Youth at the Roseland Ballroom. We saw Mr. Pinfield walking around and we went up and told him we were fans. He was so fucking stoked. He got all up in our faces and started screaming, "YOU LOVE MUSIC!!! YOU LOVE MUSIC!!!" No shit. Then he started going, "Who do you love? Who do you love?" (Which kinda sounded like the "Really Wrong, Really Wrong" part of Caravan in the Last Waltz) Put on the spot, the best we could come up with was Frank Black to which he responded. "I HAD HIM ON THE SHOW!!! I LOOK JUST LIKE HIM!!!" Then he left. After that may have been when I had my first cigarette. But back to the Whigs. A tragic loss to the alternative rock world. Greg Dulli's got a new project called the Gutter Twins, but it'll never be "Debonair" or "Going to Town."