Busted

I'm feeling pretty guilty these days. Actually, I've been feeling pretty guilty for, well, close to a year now. It's not because I had a pork bun during passover and it's not because I write "Haha" in text messages when I think something's funny. Shit, it's not even because I own the first two Killers records (I didn't pay for them -- I swear. Seriously. Leave me alone). It's because of a certain quartet of Jim-Johns who go by the name Against Me! (Yeah, there's an exclamation point in their name. Ugh.) Now, I'll admit I've only heard a few of their songs, but they infuriated me. Boring, dumb lyrics, blah, blah, blah. I don't even know enough about them to validate my hatred and I intend to keep it that way. But, for all their flaws, for all their toothpicks that stick me in the eye, the one thing I hate most about them is that they wrote this fucking song. This song rules. I can't stop listening to it. I paid 99 fucking cents on iTunes so I could listen to this song all the time. And I do. When I'm on my way to work, when I'm getting dressed, when I feel angry, when I wanna get fired up, when I'm cleaning the apartment -- all the time. Talihan and I went to see Mastodon about a year ago and they were opening and I was legitimately bummed that we missed them. Fuck. Heaven help me:



Alright. Let's talk about this. Street-cred is way important to me so let me tell you what I find intolerable about this first:

1. The lyrics, dude, the lyrics. I'm not trying to play my expert card, but I'm pretty sure that punk rock songs are not allowed to use the word "minimum."

2. The drummer. I'm not buying that beard or those glasses, bruh. Sorry.

3. Surprise, surprise -- lyrics again. Now, it's been a while since I graduated from college but I'm pretty sure I remember being taught that the first rule to writing a song about a junkie is DON'T USE THE WORD "JUNKIE."

4. Just about everything else about this song/video.

5. As I said, I can't stop listening to it.

Alright. Now to defend myself. Why I love this song:

1. The intro with the guitar and drums -- classic. Gets me every time.

2. The chorus has a "ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba" part. I'm really into that.

3. Uh, the...uh..I just really like it. Sorry. I hate myself.

So, in conclusion. This song blows. But if you deny the fact that it rules you are lying to yourself and everyone you know. Know what I mean? This song is kinda like a Spike Lee movie: it spells everything out for you, makes me kinda furious with white people and I keep on coming back for more. Damn. It feels so good to be bad.

Shit List

So the other week, me and felton were shooting the shit on gchat ...as we are apt to do. We were discussing the brilliance that was 120 minutes (remember this dude who was in that shitty sitcom and was in that chavez video, no not that one) P.S. Dulli and that dude: not even remotely entertaining.

Dicussions about 120 minutes are basically the only conversations me and ben have. Honestly, I don't know jack shit about this dude Ben, but god do i love him ... So anyway the conversation turn to L7 ...not to be confused with the Detroit hardcore band (not that anyone would confuse them cause no one has ever heard of the Detroit band until the stupid Internet age where learning about something is meaningless cause any fucking dilettante can learn about anything in five fucking key strokes/seconds ...or look up how to spell the word dilenttante ... what a buncha jerks)


Anyway this brings me to my point. In this conversation, i recalled they was a song called shitlist ... so here's my shitlist for this week:

1. Scarlett Johansson ... c'mon lady ...you've made it so i have to hate a decent movie ...cause you are so effing afwful... ... luckily, I never had respect for David Bowie to lose ... tom waits, i don't get it ...sorry I tired and i don't ... rain dogs is yawn city ... but back to the topic at hand ... we get it Scarlett you're vapid, cute, and super radical now go die

2. The New York Times for the way it covers culture, brooklyn , etc. ...it makes me wanna join jihad.

3. ATP in New York for thier tix prices ... cause I'm not gonna lie to you I'm very tempted.

4. The internet (see above)

This of course was too easy ...

The Best Doing the Best

There's this really cool website where you can watch all these awesome videos for free. I forget what it's called but Talihan and I will sometimes pull stuff from it for our posts. Aside from all the great home videos of babies there are some fantastic covers of some of our favorite songs.

Sometimes I feel like I like covers more than the originals simply because they're covers. Make sense? Anyway, here are some obvious favorites.

Woah! Am I rolling my face off on ex at a Manchester rave in 1983? Nope! We're just in this new-wave jugarnaut's bedroom. Awesome facial hair, bruh. Very of the times.



Oh, it's not cool to cover songs from the '90s in '07? Really? I guess I never got that mass email. Dick.



Obviously this song kicks fuckin' anus, but my man right here really takes it to the next level. He's like the John Fahey of southern alternative rock. And, may I add, he certainly presents us with a dictionary definition of a winning smile.



Well look who it is. It's our favorite human being ever. Who does he think he is, anyway? "Hey Ya?" Are you serious? I guess so.



Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.



Uh-oh. The Manchester train is pulling into the station again. This is the most right-on thing I've ever seen in my life.



Uh, holy shit much? I'm speechless. Whoa.



Maybe this is too easy, but damn this guy is lovable.



There's really not much to say here other than this is tough as balls. How can you make INXS sound as rad as Phil Lynott? Like this, I guess.



They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well this video is worth a thousand pictures. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to write and I'm really having a hard time. This video makes me horny and gives me a stomach ache all at once. I'm gonna go cry this one off.

Not to get "all political"

XXL mag interviewed one of the greatest men of all time: DMX

XXL: You know there's a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there's Hillary Clinton.

DMX: His name is Barack?!

XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.

DMX: Barack?!

XXL: Barack.

DMX: What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa? ...What the fuck?! That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that ni**a's name. You can't be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

XXL: You're telling me you haven't heard about him before.

DMX: I ain't really paying much attention.

XXL: I mean, it's pretty big if a Black…

DMX: Wow, Barack! The ni**a's name is Barack. Barack? Ni**a named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this ni**a when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit" [laughs] "That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.

On a similar topic ... I think this jay reatard guy's kinda corny "as all get out" but fuck i just can't resist a catchy 1 minute punk rock song ... damn you jay ... damn you

Hundred Dollar Biller

So last friday we went to go see the dirtbombs mail it in ... Felton tried to tell us the opening band was good, he lied to us. But we forgive him, cause he's ben fucking felton. Maybe this whole we made a concept album thing went to your head ... not sure really...but shit was just kinda ... eh ... plus i was cranky so that didn't help.

Post show, we trooped to my buddy's danny's bday gathering in the pouring rain. Shit was fun. beers got drank ... unfaltering photos of me and felton got took ... then circa 4:30 i became a 12 years old again...

We got in dave's car to drive around... and we like "dude you gotta hit us with some old rap" ... and we kinda sure dave was gonna blow it and thrown on obscure Dylan bootlegs .. but nope he came through hard body ... see i've known danny since i was 12 or sumin ...and before robbie talihan became the handsome punk rocker you see before you today ...i used to loved me some rap music ... in fact as ben is apt to point out the the first day of ninth grade i wore a basketball jersey (he claims with no tee shirt underneath ...i however dispute this claim) ... I remember vividly me and my brother used to watch NYPD blue and often note how, like Jeru the Damaja, david caruso's character "would rather bust a nut than bust a cap" ... hey we were 12 and 14 give us a break ...

Anyway we went through a cube joint, a pac banger, and then the best rap beat of all time:"they reminisce over you" ... just udd jamz, b... on the way back to brooklyn ... smoking cigs and appreciating our european decent (cause if we were black and listening to loud rap music in a car at 5am, we clearly would've been pulled over) ... good times

The main dude currently has a wildly entertaining blog called HNIC2 ... while I am not at liberty to tell you what HNIC means it's really good ...


Peep this nug:

Tired and Bored?

Yeah me too ... check this stone roses doc on youtube.

Part 1 of 6

Guy Guy, You're the Shit Shit

Dear Guy Picciotto,

Mr. Picciotto, dude, sir, brother ...

I know we don't know each other very well .. but i want you to know i miss you and know i need you back ...hell, the world needs you. Actually Fuck The World (FTW), I need you ... what I'm saying is put down that paint brush or 16 mm camera or what ever lame art shit you're doing, and get the fuck behind a microphone. Let that lady from bikini kill take care of the kid/seed ... and get out there on a stage and sing and dance for me... like a monkey ...but like a really awesome monkey who speaks, plays guitar and comes up with awesome zingers (maybe the best scene in film ever). I mean seriously, quit producing blonde redhead records and ENTERTAIN ME. I been listening to "the argument" lately ...and fuck shit that record is good.

i mean, your boy Ian sure as shit aint picking up the slack (i mean geez the guy hates fart jokes)... also tell that fucker Brendan Canty to stop producing pop punk records and sit down in front of a drum set (with cow bell) and go to town. Tell Joe Lally ...um ... actually ...don't bother telling that dude anything.

Plus your name is Guy ... how fuckin good is that ...it better be pronounced like "guy" and not some lame french/italian way. You know what I just learned, "Picciotto roughly translates to "guy" in Sicilian", you really are the fucking best guy ever, guy guy.

So what I'm saying is cut the shit guy guy, and hit me with something like this sometime soon. Dude, you are the best hypeman ever ... it so rare that the hypeman really had a legitmate career of his/her own ...think spliff star

Alternative Rock Fight

Wanna hear a discussion by some former drug addict about which was a bigger buzz bin hit song in 1994: cannonball or cut your hair? Yeah me neither really ... but it beats doing work ... and sometimes harassing people on email and being a g-chat menace gets old ... i don't know about you but this kinda makes me wanna shove stephen malkmus in a locker, and punch deal in the nose ...

from you favorite mag: time out new york, an interview with kim deal

“Cannonball” was a big crossover hit. Ever get sick of it?
No. That used to be a popular stance for indie-rockers to take. If somebody actually liked one of their songs, then they would hate the song. I was never like that.


Did the success of that song cause any jealousy among your indie-rock peers?
You know, [Pavement’s Stephen] Malkmus is being a bit of a bitch in interviews recently. One thing he said last summer referred to me as “trashy mouth.” And he just did this article in Spin where he alluded to me unpleasantly, saying [something like], “You know, I always thought that Pavement could have had one of those big hits in the early ’90s with ‘Cut Your Hair,’ but I guess people preferred ‘Cannonball.’ ”

Are you a fan of his music?
Yeah, I liked Pavement. But if he keeps fucking smacking his mouth off about me, I’m going to end up not being able to listen to any of their fucking records again. Anyway, I thought, God, man, “Cut Your Hair” isn’t as good of a song as “Cannonball,” so fuck you. How’s that? Your song was just a’ight, dawg. (i heart Francesa ... he is the most preposterous human being evah)