Handsome Punk Rockers

You got some kick ass shit

2008-12-08T13:17:00.000-08:00

Turns out there's a blog called In Noise We Crust. Whoa that is good name for ... um ... well ... just about anything. My daughter's first name is definitely gonna be that In-Noise-We-Crust Talihan. I mean either that or Mary.

When was the last time this lady had a new idea? Oh yeah this was it and it was awesome

Beatiful Babies

2008-12-01T10:11:00.000-08:00

Hey, so, you know, how people like really like babies. Like people will smile and talk to babies without a second thought. People will be walking down the street and people will just waive and flash a big shit-eating grin at them. And even if they are a little shy about saying 'what up' to the baby, they would smile to themselves as if to say "fuck, just seeing that baby's baby-ass face made me happy." Nobody smiles and waives at me, fucking babies get all the breaks. Now don't get me wrong I'm not anti-baby, I fucks with babies. Some are cool. For instance when my nephew was a baby he was super rad and he made me smile endlessly. I mean we are still totally bffs (best fucking friends). We always play a game called superboy but it's not like that extra gross song ... it jsut involes me picking him up and throwing him around. But like most babies and kids I'm just kinda like 'meh.' I don't mind them but they don't blow my mind or whatever ...

However I can emphatize with that feeling. I feel it when ever I see kids at punk rock shows. I mean when I see those kids limbs just start flaling around and screaming into microphones, it makes me smile unknowningly. It's a beatiful thing. The other month me moti, and ben went see fucked up twice in a week (and honestly I was kinda pist I didn't attend the third show of the week). And my homeboy todd p comes through and tells the kids to behave and not smoke outside, and its all very sweet, ya know. Like DIY or FUBU, you know. So Pink Eyes, who, by the by, is the fucking balls, gets on stage and is like "TEAR THIS PLACE UP DOWN ... but like in the most respectful way possible." Like how sweet is that?!! ... these kids come thru to some slightly skechy part of Brooklyn to just kinda go off, and some random dudes work hard to make it happen. I mean that's just plain lovely. It just makes you feel good, you know, like when you're in love, or give to the poor, or when rusty cage comes on in a bar out of nowhere. It just kinda made me realize i know th feeling when people look at babies they have no relation to and just smile to themsleves... but then again it's sometimes just really d-u-m dumb

Ps the duders they show at 23 seconds are like so fucking good looking i don't what to do with myself.

Danzig Live: The Socratic Method

2008-11-15T13:36:00.000-08:00

Wait, what day is it? .... so I guess September didn't really work out.

Back in October me and Benny boy Felton went to see the 'zig (Felton's pharse). Here is my response using a form of philosophical inquiry in which the questioner explores the implications of others' positions, to stimulate rational thinking and illuminate ideas.

Was I into the opening band?
Not so much ... maybe as like a goof or whatever.

Was Danzig fan-fucking-tastic at Roseland last month?
Yep.

Does the dude have a set of pipes that made me visably aroused?
Yep.

Is he balding?
Yep

Does he have a big ol gut?
Yep

Was he wearing a mesh shirt?
Yep

Did look stupendodus?
Absolutley

Was this the dude that played drums?

Yep

Is that dude the balls?
Yep

Did Tommy Victor of Prong play guitar?
Yep

Did he engerneer the best Sheer Terror record?
Yep

Did he produce the worst too?
Yep

Was the crowd a the show terrible?
Of course

Did a some fistcuffs break out?
Yep

Was I into that?
Nope

Is Roseland the worst for stopping the show at Midnight on the dot?
Yep

School's Out for Summer

2008-08-01T13:04:00.001-07:00

So me and Felton have decided to give it a rest for a bit (if you hadn't noticed). We are gonna be back in September.

My advice to you is to watch this multiple times a day until that time comes.

Danzig- Home Video Complete
Uploaded by domchimic

Um ... What?

2008-07-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

A while back i got the album hidden world by the band fucked up. I liked it when i first got and it has grown on me more and more as time progresses. But after reading this on their blog they are easily my favorite band in known human history. I guess they are coming out with a record on matador ... consider it purchased.

Also, John Reis ... let's go halves on a baby.

Fucked Up - No Epiphany
Fucked Up - Year of the Pig (US 7" Edit)
Fucked Up - Royal Swan

Night Marchers - Whose Lady R U

Coming Clean

2008-07-03T08:19:00.001-07:00

hey hey duders
So lately I've come to a very sad realization, pop punk is my favorite form of music. I mean I could lie to you and pick some Brazilian pop band or church-burning metal band championed by vice magazine(although i have to admit i read that book a couple years ago ...shit was kinda ill).

However, the god's honest truth is, the following are of my favorite songs of all time. Don't worry I feel nothing but shame and bitter self-recrimination.

Smoking Popes - Need You Around

Alkaline Trio

Ain't No Party Like a Trons Party; Cause A Trons Party Don't Stop

2008-07-02T11:51:00.001-07:00

Independence Day. Ahhhh. What a joy it is to live in a free country. In between chugging them beers and facing them apple pies, take a second to remember that -- oh shit, I'm getting a text. Hold on a sec...I forgot what my point was.

CIAO!

-Lucia

You Know What's Kinda the Funniest Shit in the World?

2008-06-29T11:25:00.001-07:00

Hardcore

I'm Only Happy When People are Making References to the Band Garbage

2008-06-26T09:44:00.000-07:00

It's been raining all morning here in Brooklyn. Makes me wish I lived with my band (or that I was in a band) and we ate pot cookies and jammed all day, breaking often for snacks and smoothies.

Instead I revisit this lo-fi beast (that's actually not lo-fi) on repeat for what may end up being all day:

Later. I'm going to clean my disgusting kitchen now.

-Lucia

So Real

2008-06-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

Did you know that in the underground, integrity lies within? Me neither, but apparently it does. I guess I first heard about this in high school, when I first heard this song -- then I never heard about it again. What am I talking about?

Anyway, here's the point: '90s hardcore. I can't get enough of it and Sick of it All (SOIA) were pretty much as good as it got for me. What great attitudes those bros had. I remember seeing them on the Warped tour (It was the first one! With Quicksand! Leave me alone!) and some people started shouting our requests. The fellas pretty much just ignored the crowd until Lou Koller (i.e. one of the greatest men of all time) decided to respond. He started off all serious, sounding kinda pissed off. In a quiet tone he says something like, "Now, how long have you been coming to see us? After all this time, you should know by now (then he raises his voice) we don't do fucking requests!" It was weird for a second because he immediately followed this claim by saying, in the most playful of playful tones, "I'm just kidding. I don't want anyone to kick my ass or anything." It was crazy. It was like that scene in that movie where you think the dog is going to bite down on the guy's hand and then he licks it. Know what I'm talking about? Whatever. Also in that show he said, "We've been doing this for a long time now. But for those of you who've never seen us before, let me just tell you (and then he screams) WE CAN'T SING!!!" Pure comic genius.

This is how it's done:

Things I Like About Josh Homme:

2008-06-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

1. Absolutley Everything

Member of the Peanut Gallery:
Some journalists & citizens on the internet & are wondering: Q? Am I a homophobe because I included a slang for gay in with other "acceptable" curse words during a verbal lashing I gave a young concertgoer, after being hit by his shoe, during a show the other day? A= Nope. My gay family & friends, as well as myself, KNOW I am not a homophobe. For years now I've known gay is not a choice; one's skin color doesn't determine one's intelligence level; & red hair doesn't mean you're someone's stepchild. You see, it's not the words, it's their intent. I never said, nor suggested, that being gay is wrong, but apparently, based on your outrage to my flu-infused rant, you do! By that logic... I also told that young whipper snapper I'd have anal sex with him... how can I possibly reconcile these opposing viewpoints? I called him a pussy too. Does it mean I hate our one worlds' collective vagina? I never have been nor intend to be politically correct. That's your cross to bear. To me, that PC world would suck more shit than the porta-potty truck at Glastonbury. Homophobic? I'm in Queens of the Stone Age for crissake... You say, "So. Your band name doesn't prove anything." Maybe not. But it's a helluv a lot more definitive than the logic of some watchdog... (sorry canine-American, canine-European, canine-African, canine-Australian & canine-Asian) moralist, keeping score from pure perfectionville? If your glass house is squeegeed that clean & you need to do something, do what the great philosopher Bill Hicks once suggested: - forgive me-. Or don't. I'm not asking for either, OK? I think you should let both of your cheeks go loose so the stick will drop out. Either way I expect that you'll soon find another injustice from your chair, then roll to your bullhorn & point it out to the rest of us... Because you're so above it all. Or If you'll allow me to translate a wish of mine into your PC lingo:

PC lingo:
Will you please go have consensual, sex with yourself.
Pretty please with all natural, carbon offset sugar on top.

Sincerely,
Mr. Missundastood
A.K.A. Joshua, Baby Duck, Jho
Head Choreographer & Do Stuff Corporation's pansexual spokes-thing

Plus the guy had "beef" with tim armstrong. how fucking good is that? On a scale of 1 to 20 it's a 57. That's how good it is.

For my main man peanut

2008-06-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I'm a Neo Luddite Who Loves the MSG Network

2008-06-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

So this post is gonna be real trite and/or banal. What am I, an English Professor?! It is about my love/hate relationship with music and the interweb. The love is part isthat i got this nugget free of charge. The downside was how "stupid" easy it was. I mean not to sound like an old kook at 28 but once upon a time you had to "find" a record. Even before that step you had to know about it. I spend hours nerding out on reading the "thank yous" at the end of albums to discover some new shit to escape my feels to ... um ... i mean rock out to.

It was like a process to get a record. The payoff, when you finally found that record after months and months of searching for it felt as though you had really accomplished something. Now you type a word (you don't even need to spell the word correctly) and bam: free music. I mean I like free shit was much as the next guy, and i have heard way more records cause the the interweb but some it just makes you feel ...well... kinda lame, no?

However I think TVs are the fucking shit! Last week I came home tired as balls and was looking for something to watch (besides the never ending bad news machine that is the new york yankees) And I watch this fucking gem of a TV program on the MSG Network (Duck Folan)

XMemorial Day WeekendX

2008-05-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

I decided that the best way to celebrate the dead soldiers last weekend would be to take a little break from what's left of this (yawn) city.

First I decided to stay up until 4am on Friday dancing and drinking beer out of Styrofoam (much to my friend Dave's dismay -- something about mother earth) which made the drive up to the country the next day kinda rough. That is, until we got the old ipod rolling and I rediscovered my favorite music (well second favorite) -- the mighty JUD JUD.

Now, I'm sure you’ve read about these dudes on other blogs so I am merely here to remind you that this is the best band that ever was. They did acapella versions of hardcore songs by repeating the word "jud" (is "jud" a word?) over and over and over again. How fucking good is that, you ask? Well the answer is, it's really fucking good. They do spot-on version of every "type" of hardcore song. And, as those of you who were ever into hardcore know, there are only "types" of hardcore songs. I think most of the clever kids out there today just listen to a song or two and laugh. Me? I rock the fuck out to it on the subway. You know why? ‘Cause I haven't forgotten two things: the struggle and the streets. And, I've managed to avoid doing a third thing: selling out.

Go to the WFMU site and cop some songs, broham.

p.s. I ended up having a killer time Upstate. Although, honestly -- I smoked so many cigarettes. Somebody really needs to put me on punishment.

Belchertown in The House

2008-05-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

It's gonna be obvious kinda soon that I much prefer the 90s to this asshole decade we've got going on here. So why dissapoint?

I spent a lot of time listening to the radio growing up and whenever this song came on my Mom would change the station 'cause it was too provocative:

Whatever, dude. I don't think that was called for. There was basically one decent radio station in my hood that gave us local hoodrats a decent education. But those kids have grown into total "nurses aides". And by that I mean they're all nurses aides.

-Lucia

Spring Theme

2008-05-25T12:38:00.001-07:00

So the other day I'm sitting around reading my own posts (which I do -- a lot) and I rechecked out a link to a video of a little group of juggernauts I like to call Steely Dan. Holy shit, dude, are these guys the best-fucking-ever or what? I'm not sure if Talihan will fully support my love of these dudes, yet, but he will in time. I used to hate them when a friend of mine in college tried to turn me onto the Aja record. I was like, "bro -- how can you like this garbage? It's like smooth jazz for aging hipsters that are too wimpy to still do coke but wanna feel alive again." My friend was like, "There's one thing about Steely Dan you need to get past in order to like them. I can't articulate what it is but it exists and once you get past it, brother, the future is glorious."

Well, my friend was right. I'm not sure what that one thing is, but it really is there and I definitely got past it. I love these guys and am definitely contemplating shelling out 54 bones to see them in a few weeks. I mean, come on? You gots to be doing something right if you play a type of music that you yourself proudly categorize as "jazz-rock" and still come off as two of the toughest dudes of all time.

Anyway, it's Sunday, the weather is, as we say in the industry, fucking fantastic and I'm about to go to a rooftop cookout. What's my point? This song is in my head right now as my own personal soundtrack to the day. Spring is almost over and summer is up next, bitches. Let's get drunk before 2pm -- not kidding.

P.S. Jeff "Skunk" Baxter? I believe it's pronounced "yes-fucking-please."

p.p.s. Chevy Chase was their first drummer. No shit.

This Post is so Hip Right Now, I Think I'm Going Blind

2008-05-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

So the other day I was bs-ing instead of studying for this final I had -- studying is kinda for the birds – and, not surprisingly, I was fucking around on youtube. Somehow this lead to me coming across the following gem:

Dude says approximately 47 fall-down funny things in this song. My personal fave being "That music really turns me on, maxes me out." This lead to me peeping a bunch of Girls Aganist Boys videos and spending the next day on some myspace page. So, I might have to take an airplane to Europe this weekender to catch a show of dude's new band. But then I thought about it and was kinda like, do i really need to hit up Bruges AGAIN? That'd be, like, my fourth trip this year. (Have you ever had the pizza in Bruggles? Well, lemme tell you it's amazing.)

It made me kinda sad actually ‘cause when GVSB actually existed I was never much of a fan. Basically I blew it. This, of course, is no shocker since I made a lot of mistakes in my youth. And hey let's face it -- adulthood hasn't been a shinning success either.

Apparently I actually did see GVSB as an adolescent. Ben reminded me of this fact but I have no memory of it whatsoever (truth be told i remember very little). But all i got to say to you Scott McCloud, you gorgeous bastard you, is hey -- that's what you get for playing before David Yow. The dude blows people off the stage for a living.

Sensitive Shreddin'

2008-05-21T14:52:00.001-07:00

Hey gang-- guess what time it is. It's time for ol' Ben to get down on his knees and give some '90s indie-rocker the proverbial blow-j. Look out!

So -- who are the lucky bastards this time? I'll tell you.

As we all know, the good people at All Tomorrow's Parties (ATP) have been slaying us with not just reunions but performances of classic albums in their entirety. The Melvins did Houdini, we all know about Mudhoney doing Supperfuzz and recently they got Polvo to get back together to destroy the living daylights out of us. But why stop there? It was recently announced that ATP will be taking their festival to New York where Polvo, some other band who hasn't played in a while and, dudes of all dudes, Built to Spill, are going to throw down. But Built to Spill aren't just playing -- they'll be performing a certain little record called Perfect From Now On. If you're not aware of that album's power, you are either deaf or unborn. If you are aware, well, then you have a pulse.

Unfortunately, you have to be a Roc-A-Fella to afford tickets to that festival but fortunately Doug Martsch and his team of bros will be taking this on the road and you know that Talihan and I will be seeing them at Terminal 5 in September. What's that? Who's opening? Oh you know, just some little nobodies. What're their names again? Oh yeah -- Dinosaur Jr. and fucking Meat Puppets! Are you kidding me? That show is gonna be a damn monster. I feel like I heard that Meat Puppets will be performing II in its entirety. Either way, I will be put down.

But Built to Spill are definitely the biggest draw for me. The first time I saw them was on the second stage at Lollapalooza and all I really remember is that my friend Rami got, like, a migraine or something. The second time I saw them I had not only just gotten a haircut, but I also had all four wisdom teeth taken out days before and my cheeks were waaaayyy swollen. It made the top of my head look really small and the bottom look really big. What does all this mean? I guess I'm a little nervous about this show. But you know what? Fuck it! It's time to knock back some microbrews and get into a little good ol' beard-rock. Did I just write "ol'" for the second time in this post? You're damn right I did. Come on dudes -- let's kick it in the sun!

Mainlining That Local H

2008-05-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm Lucia, and I'm famous...okay, maybe not. So there's this song that pops back into my head every once in awhile. I was sitting at my computer on Sunday and I googled some of the lyrics I could remember, and then this came back into my life:

Not only does that video rule because the majority of it is just the dude cranking out some power chords with just his drummer in the background (who needs a band?) but because then I found out not only does Local H still tour, but they were scheduled to play Luna Lounge - three blocks from my house - that night! Course, I didn't go, because who gives a shit about Local H, but still.

-Lucia

If That's What They Call Normal Then I'd Rather be (Un)sane*

2008-05-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

The other night I ended up at my buddy Dan's House. We drank some beers and burned one down on his porch, which is soon to be adorned with dart boards (this dude is kinda my idol) and there was some awful smell in his fridge. But that's neither here nor there.

So at first we were watching some cooking show where some Asian dude was carrying around some kind of mini- pterodactyl fish. I guess he was gonna cook it up. Shit was weird. So then we somehow switched to Jackass 2 with the mute on. My initial reaction is to find those dudes kinda entertaining. I mean, I like to watch shit burn or get smashed or whatever -- I'm a grown ass baby like everyone else in my generation. And let's face it -- mean-spiritedness is funny. But sometimes I just get furious at those dudes. That one dude Bam? I can't help but think "C'mon bro. Those are your parents. They gave birth to you. Give them a fucking break, fuckface." Not very punk rock but then watching it kinda turned me on, maxed me out. But at the time I'm kinda like, "You dudes are kinda the definition of lameness," which is to say I'm entertained but I hate myself for it

Speaking of Skateboards, remember how sick Unsane was? I don't have them anymore but I bet a bazillion dollars that these records stand the test of time ... plus the dude had an AK 47 tattooed to his fore arm ... bff .... big fucking balls

Apparently they have a creepy fanbase based on this video

*If you get the reference in the title then you were a ska fan and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Night Marchers Last Week

2008-05-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

So moti, danny, and I went to see the ol night marchers last week ... felton flaked cause somebody was marrying someone else or polvo reunited or sumin.

I started out super stoaked about it but then i copped the record...and shit was kinda yawncity ... it wasn't bad just not stupendous. But shit my main man john reis know how to rock a crowd ...so i was still a little amped.

What I wasn't too amped about was opening bands ... i'll be frank ... i'm that dickhead ... honestly if i haven't heard of your band i aint coming ... i guess it would be nice and it would be a way of experiencing new things,and I could go in with an open mind, etc. ... but that aint really my style ... i prefer to hide my feeling beneath indifference, sarcasm, and humor ... wait did i just say that out loud ... moving on ...

So we got some beers at the bar around the corner ...it used to be a normal bar, but now is fancy beer spot full of duders (not the good kind).

We get there and shit is packed. So much so that we could even get into the room of the show. But we manage to squeeze in and get a bit closer ... the crowd wasn't too stoaked ...but john ries looked like a million and half dollars ... so I told him he looked fantstic ... i think he appreciated it ...i wish more people told me i look fan-fucking-tastic ... cause lord knows that's a fact ... my second question "wait, weren't you in jawbox?" ... didn't go over quite as well ... there were some boos ... and my homie Gar called me "bagged meat" ...which sorta turned me on ... i don't know if that's weird ... but hey it's the truth so I gotta admit it ...at least thats what karen hill taught me

The crowd was kind blah ...except for a couple brohams in the front ... this salty balty audience was way more siked:

Kermit is sad

2008-05-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like for me to comment on this in any way whatsoever would just subract, rather than add, value to this nug:

The dude who made these deserves the noble peace prize or a bazillion dollars or sumin ...

Shit like this proves to me I've wasted my life ...cause I wasn;t making cover songs in a kermit voice

Uh, Pretty Damn Tough

2008-05-05T08:52:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling pretty nostalgic for alternative rock today, dudes. I'm sitting here in Carrboro, North Carolina where the sun is shining bright and the sky is as blue as a Redd Foxx bit. I got into town on Friday and within hours I was watching Superchunk rip it up for Barack Obama. Cold brews, a little old school indie rock and getting fired up? Yes please. Then this band Arcade Fire stepped up and got epic like Les Miserables. It was truly a great day and definitely got me thinking about a little decade I like to refer to as the 90s. You know what? I'm always nostalgic for the 90s. Screw it!

Anyway, so I was shooting it with ol' Talihan today and we start talking about our favorite topic -- female musicians -- and a certain lady named P.J. Harvey came up. The only record of hers I really got into was Rid of Me but holy shit pile was that a fucking juggernaut. It was one of those records that I was way too dumb to appreciate when it came out and then years later I threw on and was like, "Damn." Seriously -- that's exactly what I was like.

Anyway, here's a little gem I found:

This is a really interesting video because it's from 1993. Apparently that was the last year it was acceptable for people to wear sunglasses on stage (except for Mick Collins). Also, that drummer gets pretty weird on those backup vocals. I'm into it.

Banal Bar

2008-05-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

So last night ... me and danny decided to leave the apartment building we both live in to head out for some beers. Cause sometimes you just need a break from the mom being wildly abusive to her child, the rabid dog that lives upstairs, and the dude next door who makes horrendous music.

So we went to the local bar to pod ...but it was just weird and lame in there so we bounced. Dudes in there were stoaked on hockey and over charging. So we left to go check some new spot ... that turned out to be extra yuppied out.

So we ended up at some extra park slope bar... which kinda blew chunks. I noticed in the background, as I watched people play connect four and just generally lull each other to sleep, that the record playing was Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Which made me realize that Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is a record made for boring people. Now don't get me wrong I actually really liked that record...but if it is being played you are basically in a boring place with boring people (otherwise known as park slope)

I promise you if you know a really boring person, they have this record. Not only do they have it, it is prominently displaced, cause they think it speaks to some deepness about them. Like "me and Jeff Tweedy have been through a lot but luckily we found this authentic country music to help us make it through."

P.S. the guy's name is Jeff Tweedy ...unacceptable.

Appros of absolutely nothing this video for damaged goods is kinda hundred dollar biller ... fuck, Jon King puts it down on the dance floor

That being said, i like this song a lot:

Busted

2008-04-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling pretty guilty these days. Actually, I've been feeling pretty guilty for, well, close to a year now. It's not because I had a pork bun during passover and it's not because I write "Haha" in text messages when I think something's funny. Shit, it's not even because I own the first two Killers records (I didn't pay for them -- I swear. Seriously. Leave me alone). It's because of a certain quartet of Jim-Johns who go by the name Against Me! (Yeah, there's an exclamation point in their name. Ugh.) Now, I'll admit I've only heard a few of their songs, but they infuriated me. Boring, dumb lyrics, blah, blah, blah. I don't even know enough about them to validate my hatred and I intend to keep it that way. But, for all their flaws, for all their toothpicks that stick me in the eye, the one thing I hate most about them is that they wrote this fucking song. This song rules. I can't stop listening to it. I paid 99 fucking cents on iTunes so I could listen to this song all the time. And I do. When I'm on my way to work, when I'm getting dressed, when I feel angry, when I wanna get fired up, when I'm cleaning the apartment -- all the time. Talihan and I went to see Mastodon about a year ago and they were opening and I was legitimately bummed that we missed them. Fuck. Heaven help me:

Alright. Let's talk about this. Street-cred is way important to me so let me tell you what I find intolerable about this first:

1. The lyrics, dude, the lyrics. I'm not trying to play my expert card, but I'm pretty sure that punk rock songs are not allowed to use the word "minimum."

2. The drummer. I'm not buying that beard or those glasses, bruh. Sorry.

3. Surprise, surprise -- lyrics again. Now, it's been a while since I graduated from college but I'm pretty sure I remember being taught that the first rule to writing a song about a junkie is DON'T USE THE WORD "JUNKIE."

4. Just about everything else about this song/video.

5. As I said, I can't stop listening to it.

Alright. Now to defend myself. Why I love this song:

1. The intro with the guitar and drums -- classic. Gets me every time.

2. The chorus has a "ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba" part. I'm really into that.

3. Uh, the...uh..I just really like it. Sorry. I hate myself.

So, in conclusion. This song blows. But if you deny the fact that it rules you are lying to yourself and everyone you know. Know what I mean? This song is kinda like a Spike Lee movie: it spells everything out for you, makes me kinda furious with white people and I keep on coming back for more. Damn. It feels so good to be bad.

Shit List

2008-04-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

So the other week, me and felton were shooting the shit on gchat ...as we are apt to do. We were discussing the brilliance that was 120 minutes (remember this dude who was in that shitty sitcom and was in that chavez video, no not that one) P.S. Dulli and that dude: not even remotely entertaining.

Dicussions about 120 minutes are basically the only conversations me and ben have. Honestly, I don't know jack shit about this dude Ben, but god do i love him ... So anyway the conversation turn to L7 ...not to be confused with the Detroit hardcore band (not that anyone would confuse them cause no one has ever heard of the Detroit band until the stupid Internet age where learning about something is meaningless cause any fucking dilettante can learn about anything in five fucking key strokes/seconds ...or look up how to spell the word dilenttante ... what a buncha jerks)

Anyway this brings me to my point. In this conversation, i recalled they was a song called shitlist ... so here's my shitlist for this week:

1. Scarlett Johansson ... c'mon lady ...you've made it so i have to hate a decent movie ...cause you are so effing afwful... ... luckily, I never had respect for David Bowie to lose ... tom waits, i don't get it ...sorry I tired and i don't ... rain dogs is yawn city ... but back to the topic at hand ... we get it Scarlett you're vapid, cute, and super radical now go die

2. The New York Times for the way it covers culture, brooklyn , etc. ...it makes me wanna join jihad.

3. ATP in New York for thier tix prices ... cause I'm not gonna lie to you I'm very tempted.

4. The internet (see above)

This of course was too easy ...

The Best Doing the Best

2008-04-18T13:44:00.000-07:00

There's this really cool website where you can watch all these awesome videos for free. I forget what it's called but Talihan and I will sometimes pull stuff from it for our posts. Aside from all the great home videos of babies there are some fantastic covers of some of our favorite songs.

Sometimes I feel like I like covers more than the originals simply because they're covers. Make sense? Anyway, here are some obvious favorites.

Woah! Am I rolling my face off on ex at a Manchester rave in 1983? Nope! We're just in this new-wave jugarnaut's bedroom. Awesome facial hair, bruh. Very of the times.

Oh, it's not cool to cover songs from the '90s in '07? Really? I guess I never got that mass email. Dick.

Obviously this song kicks fuckin' anus, but my man right here really takes it to the next level. He's like the John Fahey of southern alternative rock. And, may I add, he certainly presents us with a dictionary definition of a winning smile.

Well look who it is. It's our favorite human being ever. Who does he think he is, anyway? "Hey Ya?" Are you serious? I guess so.

Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Uh-oh. The Manchester train is pulling into the station again. This is the most right-on thing I've ever seen in my life.

Uh, holy shit much? I'm speechless. Whoa.

Maybe this is too easy, but damn this guy is lovable.

There's really not much to say here other than this is tough as balls. How can you make INXS sound as rad as Phil Lynott? Like this, I guess.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well this video is worth a thousand pictures. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to write and I'm really having a hard time. This video makes me horny and gives me a stomach ache all at once. I'm gonna go cry this one off.

Not to get "all political"

2008-04-18T13:07:00.000-07:00

XXL mag interviewed one of the greatest men of all time: DMX

XXL: You know there's a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there's Hillary Clinton.

DMX: His name is Barack?!

XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.

DMX: Barack?!

XXL: Barack.

DMX: What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa? ...What the fuck?! That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that ni**a's name. You can't be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

XXL: You're telling me you haven't heard about him before.

DMX: I ain't really paying much attention.

XXL: I mean, it's pretty big if a Black…

DMX: Wow, Barack! The ni**a's name is Barack. Barack? Ni**a named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this ni**a when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit" [laughs] "That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.

On a similar topic ... I think this jay reatard guy's kinda corny "as all get out" but fuck i just can't resist a catchy 1 minute punk rock song ... damn you jay ... damn you

Hundred Dollar Biller

2008-04-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

So last friday we went to go see the dirtbombs mail it in ... Felton tried to tell us the opening band was good, he lied to us. But we forgive him, cause he's ben fucking felton. Maybe this whole we made a concept album thing went to your head ... not sure really...but shit was just kinda ... eh ... plus i was cranky so that didn't help.

Post show, we trooped to my buddy's danny's bday gathering in the pouring rain. Shit was fun. beers got drank ... unfaltering photos of me and felton got took ... then circa 4:30 i became a 12 years old again...

We got in dave's car to drive around... and we like "dude you gotta hit us with some old rap" ... and we kinda sure dave was gonna blow it and thrown on obscure Dylan bootlegs .. but nope he came through hard body ... see i've known danny since i was 12 or sumin ...and before robbie talihan became the handsome punk rocker you see before you today ...i used to loved me some rap music ... in fact as ben is apt to point out the the first day of ninth grade i wore a basketball jersey (he claims with no tee shirt underneath ...i however dispute this claim) ... I remember vividly me and my brother used to watch NYPD blue and often note how, like Jeru the Damaja, david caruso's character "would rather bust a nut than bust a cap" ... hey we were 12 and 14 give us a break ...

Anyway we went through a cube joint, a pac banger, and then the best rap beat of all time:"they reminisce over you" ... just udd jamz, b... on the way back to brooklyn ... smoking cigs and appreciating our european decent (cause if we were black and listening to loud rap music in a car at 5am, we clearly would've been pulled over) ... good times

The main dude currently has a wildly entertaining blog called HNIC2 ... while I am not at liberty to tell you what HNIC means it's really good ...

Peep this nug:

Tired and Bored?

2008-04-14T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah me too ... check this stone roses doc on youtube.

Part 1 of 6

Guy Guy, You're the Shit Shit

2008-04-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Guy Picciotto,

Mr. Picciotto, dude, sir, brother ...

I know we don't know each other very well .. but i want you to know i miss you and know i need you back ...hell, the world needs you. Actually Fuck The World (FTW), I need you ... what I'm saying is put down that paint brush or 16 mm camera or what ever lame art shit you're doing, and get the fuck behind a microphone. Let that lady from bikini kill take care of the kid/seed ... and get out there on a stage and sing and dance for me... like a monkey ...but like a really awesome monkey who speaks, plays guitar and comes up with awesome zingers (maybe the best scene in film ever). I mean seriously, quit producing blonde redhead records and ENTERTAIN ME. I been listening to "the argument" lately ...and fuck shit that record is good.

i mean, your boy Ian sure as shit aint picking up the slack (i mean geez the guy hates fart jokes)... also tell that fucker Brendan Canty to stop producing pop punk records and sit down in front of a drum set (with cow bell) and go to town. Tell Joe Lally ...um ... actually ...don't bother telling that dude anything.

Plus your name is Guy ... how fuckin good is that ...it better be pronounced like "guy" and not some lame french/italian way. You know what I just learned, "Picciotto roughly translates to "guy" in Sicilian", you really are the fucking best guy ever, guy guy.

So what I'm saying is cut the shit guy guy, and hit me with something like this sometime soon. Dude, you are the best hypeman ever ... it so rare that the hypeman really had a legitmate career of his/her own ...think spliff star

Alternative Rock Fight

2008-04-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

Wanna hear a discussion by some former drug addict about which was a bigger buzz bin hit song in 1994: cannonball or cut your hair? Yeah me neither really ... but it beats doing work ... and sometimes harassing people on email and being a g-chat menace gets old ... i don't know about you but this kinda makes me wanna shove stephen malkmus in a locker, and punch deal in the nose ...

from you favorite mag: time out new york, an interview with kim deal

“Cannonball” was a big crossover hit. Ever get sick of it?
No. That used to be a popular stance for indie-rockers to take. If somebody actually liked one of their songs, then they would hate the song. I was never like that.

Did the success of that song cause any jealousy among your indie-rock peers?
You know, [Pavement’s Stephen] Malkmus is being a bit of a bitch in interviews recently. One thing he said last summer referred to me as “trashy mouth.” And he just did this article in Spin where he alluded to me unpleasantly, saying [something like], “You know, I always thought that Pavement could have had one of those big hits in the early ’90s with ‘Cut Your Hair,’ but I guess people preferred ‘Cannonball.’ ”

Are you a fan of his music?
Yeah, I liked Pavement. But if he keeps fucking smacking his mouth off about me, I’m going to end up not being able to listen to any of their fucking records again. Anyway, I thought, God, man, “Cut Your Hair” isn’t as good of a song as “Cannonball,” so fuck you. How’s that? Your song was just a’ight, dawg. (i heart Francesa ... he is the most preposterous human being evah)

I'm Messing With Texas

2008-03-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

Hola, dudes. That's Spanish for, "I'm on a mini-vacation in Austin, bitches!" I write this post from a little area outside of my room at the San Jose Hotel in this beautiful, sunny (not really) post-college town. A friend of mine recently tracked down and bought a ridiculously cute French Bulldog puppy and he's located in San Antonio. So we flew down yesterday morning, chilled out in Austin, are going to get the little man today and then we'll drive back for one more night in this magical little town.

This is my first time here and, so far, this is what I've learned:

1. Fish tacos with cabbage at Guero's are enough to make a grown man cry.

2. 6th street is where I'll probably find my wife.

3. It doesn't matter who they are - if a band covers Dire Straits, Superchunk and the Boss all in one set, life is good.

4. Smoking may not always look cool (it usually does) but it does make you look happy and I wish I never quit. JK...not really.

So that's exactly where I'm at right now. Have a good Sunday.

Oh, and p.s. GO HEELS!!!

Happy 120

2008-03-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since the last 120 Minutes post and I'm glad to say we're back. This week I want to talk about a very special group of young men. These guys were not afraid to mix ska, funk, punk and metal on every record. That is maybe the lamest thing anyone has ever said but you know what? I don't give a shit. In this situation I get a pass because I'm talking about the mighty, mighty Fishbone. These dudes were fucking nuts and I loved it. I couldn't believe my ears the first time I heard them and they quickly became one of my favorite bands. I remember the first time I saw them live. It was at the late, great Academy in NYC and they just killed it. It was the first time I ever crowd surfed and I remember some 280 pound man in the pit throwing fierce punches in the air, which was weird and terrifying. After the show, we waited out back to get autographs and when singer Angelo Moore stepped outside I expected him to really appreciate my praises. Shockingly, he couldn't give any less of a shit if his asshole was sewn shut and he tried to sell me a book.

There's not much more to say about these dudes. I don't really know why I liked them so much and am sort of humiliated that I'm doing a post about them. But I gots a sweet-spot for 'em so there. I think that when I was younger I was psyched about anything that was kinda weird and that's probably why I had more band t-shirts in high school than girlfriends (I had one band t-shirt). Whatever it was, they got me fired up and that's that. Talihan was never a big fan but I think we can both agree that this jam is pretty business. Let's get caught in the mosh.

You Ever Seen Two Aging Alternative Rock Stars?

2008-03-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

So me and Felton (aka the handsome punkrockers ) and Julia and Kristi went see ourselves some gutter twins live and in person ... so we meet up before hand and drink some beers and burn one down ... when we got to the club I realized I was REAL fucking stoned ... the kind of stoned where you kind of wish you weren't stoned (i'm pretty sure i looked like this walking around webster hall). Then, there was a shitload of smoke-machine smoke being pumped in the building and it was super dark and I was kinda loosing it.

So I took a minute to get my act together and sent a text or two to my buddy nick
"I’m real stoned in a weird environment ... shit's kinda the worst" ... to which he replied "oh boy you are in that zone now? That's the worst shit ever ... p.s. just in case you were wondering ...yes, everyone is staring at you"... then a minute later ""I’m not even texting you ... you are hallucinating" ...

10 minutes later Dulli and Langegan put on one heck of a performance. (check later for full review) all I’ll say is this: you never saw either their faces cause it was back lit in purple, the intro was a long violin thing, and at one point dulli said "c'mon new york ...lemme hear ya ... yeah!" it was so over-the-top preposterous ... it was amazing .. check here for a clip ... and check this one ... you can hear some broham yellout "greg dulli you're a fucking god" before the song ... i can't say i disagree with the young man

You Ever Seen Two Aging Alternative Rock Stars? ... You Ever Seen Two Aging Alternative Rock Stars ON WEED?

anyway they came out with a video ... dulli looks like a bloated mess ... I love it

All Misery / Flowers

ps ben's obsessed with atom and his package it's weird

Krishna-Core

2008-03-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

A little while back, Talihan and I went to see the Melvins/Big Business play at the Luna Lounge in Brooklyn. Obviously we wrecked it that night in ways that most people don't wreck anything in a lifetime, but the real treasure came after the show. While standing outside some lame-o vegetarian joint so Talihan could get a damn not-dog or something, we spotted a young lady with a fucking Shelter tattoo. If you've read this blog before, then you know what we like. Hardcore got us through some tough times and Shelter were no exception.

I sure would love to talk about the Krishna ways for a bit, but I couldn't know any less about it if I tried. However, I do remember this. When I first visited Chapel Hill, I had a free lunch on the campus of UNC. The local Krishna dudes used to serve a vegetarian feast for the right price of nuttin' and it was delicious. Beans were an item on the menu and on this particular day, somebody made too much. I heard the Krishna boss say to the guy who was serving us, "Hey, we got extra beans. Make sure you give everyone lots of beans." So up our turn came and our server, who was inked the fuck up, looks at us with a smile and says in his charming southern drawl, "Ya'll like beans? You know what they say about beans? They're the magical fruit. The more you eat, the better you feel." I've never been more stunned. A Krishna dude making a fart joke? Yes Please.

Anyway, here's the message of the Bhagavad

One More, in a Long List of Reasons to consider Buring Down the Offices of Entertainment Weekly

2008-03-24T11:45:00.001-07:00

I looked on that site Stereogum and found this. God sometimes the interweb makes me blind with rage:

Why do we love indie rock? Because it shuns everything that is prefab, safe, typical. It's about freedom, expression, passion -- no rules, man!

1984: The Replacements - Let It Be ... one of my fav records ever and somehow way overrated ... quite a feat

1985: The Smiths - Meat Is Murder ... i can think of at least 2 smiths records better than this

1986: R.E.M. - Life's Rich Pageant ... remember when michael stipe starting wearing minor threat shirts in the late 90s and hanging with courtney love ... that was weird

1987: Dinosaur Jr. - You're Living All Over Me ... i once wrote a paper in college about j and lou through the lens of lacanian theory ... i did not do well on said paper

1988: Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation ... never really got this record ... i tired

1989: The Pixies - Doolittle ... i'll go with old b. francis on his own ...thanks

1990: Fugazi - Repeater my first 'cool' record ...

1991: My Bloody Valentine - Loveless ...i got nothing

1992: Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted ... i'll save you hearing summer babe for the 80 bazillionth time

1993: Built To Spill - Ultimate Alternative Wavers ... the later built to spill album was the one to have ... think I'd rather hear !!destroy-oh-boy!!

1994: Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand ... hey robert pollard if you read this ... let's get some buds and some packs of cigs and bro out

1995: Archers Of Loaf - Vee Vee ... they have better records ... and yet still none of them are all that good

1996: Belle And Sebastian - If You're Feeling Sinister ... i like this record but i hate this band's whole deal ... it just annoyed me

1997: Modest Mouse - Lonesome Crowded West .. the first three modest mouse records are kinda business ... the last couple ... not so much

1998: Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea ... this record's about anne frank or something and the dude is bat shit crazy

1999: Sleater-Kinney - The Hot Rock ... putting this on this list is basically like saying ... girls exist in the world ... that being said the records before and after are better

2000: Yo La Tengo - And then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out ... the record before this was better ... a thousand indie kids put this on a mix tape for a girl who wanted to grow up and become a librarian

2001: The Shins - Oh, Inverted World ... if you make songs bland enough for micky d's then you should just throw in the towel and go in house and make commercials for multi national corporation ... unless of course you are mr. c the slide man ... then your street cred will last you FOREVER ... ps you helped zach braff's career continue ... UNACCEPTABLE ... they did take H2O's advice

2002: Interpol - Turn on the Bright Lights ... were they horribly derivative? yes. Was this song catchy as shit? yes

2003: The White Stripes - Elephant ... i fucks with 7 nation army

2004: Arcade Fire- Funeral ... anyone who is a huge fan of this band thinks they are more intelligent than they are ... and are probably 22

2005: Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning ... can this guy shoot himself already ... geez ... we get it, you don't like bush ...we don't care

2006: The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America ... the first bad record they made ... but im sure the rest they make will be equally as bad if not worse ... i'm kinda dying to punch the main dude in the nose (note: I haven't punched some in 15 years)

2007: Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga ... like every spoon record ever ... it's killer for 3 months then you realize how truly boring it is

2008: Radiohead - In Rainbows ... i didn't bother buying it

Fair or Unfair?

2008-03-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

So life is unfair , this has been established. Not to be a bummer or anything. Cause, I mean there is also some real beatiful shit in life, but also some really unforgiveable shit.

The most unfair thing I can think of at the moment is the fact that I wasn't born the guitar player in this band (no, I do not know how to play guitar ... why? is that important?)

The Toughest of the Tough

2008-03-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

Not too many bands can butcher one of their own best jams and still rule, but the Dirtbombs sure as shit can. It's a little shocking that it's taken us this long to post something about them, but better late than never. Talihan and I will be seeing them at the Bowery on April 11th and you can pretty much bet on the fact that it will be hard to tell who's better -- them or us. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, check Talihan's Mudhoney post. Anyway, these super-humans are one of my favorites and to truly appreciate them is to see them live for yourself. If you haven't, then you won't get this post so don't act like you do, poseur. JK -- sort of.

It's Not So Bad

2008-03-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright, alright. Talihan is probably gonna get furious with me, but I like these dudes. It's obvious why I'd hate them. If it's not, then you need to grow up. But I got the record and it's kinda the heat. It makes me wonder if world music isgonna be the new stoner metal. Williamsburg will trade in their tight-ass Mastodon shirts for dashikis and start loving on some Paul Simon. I could think of worse things...

...I could also think of better things.

Happy St. Patty's

2008-03-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

My grandparents were from ireland ...yawn ... my grandfather once told me "Ireland is a small country full of small minded people." He wasn't the "nicest" guy i ever met...at least not a tradtional sense. Maybe a tad rough around the edges, but he had the sick brogue so i only understood about 15% of what he said, the other 85% might've been really quite sweet. Plus everytime i saw him he'd give me some money, talk to me about baseball, and tell me to listen to my teacher ...so in the end he was pretty solid.

Anyway, i kinda fucks with my man shane mcgowan sometimes. The guy's teeth are a sight to behold. People made some weird videos in the late 80s/early 90s. It's kinda sad that this is the first video that comes up when you type his name in youtube. Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash is pretty awesome record

p.s. mcnulty's "wake" on the wire's series finle ... awesome

I'm Goin' On Break

2008-03-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

So, it's Friday, and I haven't posted a "Happy 120" in a while and I'm not gonna today. I'm in Chapel Hill, NC right now chilling the fuck out and don't want to think about or do anything that can be associated in any way with responsibility. But, I will give you suckaz this in honor of my trip. Enjoy, and get ready for next week.

How do you spell irrelevant?

2008-03-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

S-t-o-o-g-e-s in 2008 ... I dare anyone to sit through the whole song .. triple dog dare you

Night Marchers

2008-03-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

May 7, 2008 at the Mercury Lounge it goes down.

Um ... Yes, Please

2008-03-11T14:23:00.000-07:00

Dude a little Boris ... not bad at all ... they have a record called smile coming out ... they played new york last week?!?! Shit, I blew it!

Hart v. Mould

2008-03-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

Apropos of absolutely nothing ... lately I've been think that maybe I actually like Grant Hart's Husker songs more than Bob Mould's. is that BOLD? Maybe but "standing by the sea (early version)" "the girl who lives on heaven hill," and "pink turns to blue" kinda blow minds ... just to name a few ... ps my moms bugging about how much room I still take up in her apartment ... any one wanna buy zen arcade, flip your wig and new day rising on vinyl ... and about a bazillion mediocre hardcore records from the mid/late 1990s?

DIE YUPPIE SCUM!

2008-03-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

So starting at the end of 8th grade, I'm trying to 'get hip', i.e. trying to get into some records a bit more esoteric than soundgraden and nirvana. So the first step in this process was my brother buying a fugazi record ... repeater if I’m not mistaken. This inevitably leads to purchasing the minor threat record. Not a bad move (at all) in and of itself (in fact kinda one the better moves ever made when you think about it) However this purchase eventually lead to the long dark night of my "hardcore year" (which was lasted about 5 years)...there was virtually nothing excited about this time except I could only listen to hardcore all day every day. Every song I listened to needed a breakdown, a white dude yelling at me, and a drummer who played fast. Songs could only be about how girls didn’t like me, the problems of Latin America, what a dick Reagan was, how much support I got from other kids/the scene, and of course reminding me not to forget my roots. If any of these essential element were missing it was basically lame. When other records came on it was like “I guess this would be okay of some honky starting yelling at me about something and it was played at 45 rpms”. Eventually I made it out of this period, although with many psychological scars.

So this past weekender (heya matt hayes and dan silk, how's tricks?) I was down in Chinatown with some friends, drinking some drinks. So there are some douche bags in the house with their tucked in shirts and bland looking girlfriends. They were being loud, and we joked they were celebrating the closing on an apartment on 10th and B. So we lamented the death of cool shit in new york for a minute...whatever ... so I go to take a piss. I’m waiting on line ...and some ugly blonde girl comes over and starts asking me about a scarf ..."do you like this scarf?" ... and me being the polite young man that I try and be at all times replies "it's okay not really my style but whatever" ...so then some bagochilli comes over doesn't look at me and says to this very inebriated women .."this guy bothering you?" ... my reply was simply "what are you kidding me?!? I understand you had a couple but you need to calm yourself down buddy." ...its like people really say stuff like that to other people ... but then then he tries to buddy up to me. ... not a terribly good story but it did remind me of my very favorite band from those hardcore years ... YUPPICIDE ... so good ... I remember this show like it was yesterday ...or maybe the day before ...one of those skinny flailing arms belongs to robbie talihan ... "LOOK OUT YOU YUPPIE SUCKER" ... 90s hardcore: does it get better? The answer is no, it does not.

p.s. um ...yes please

2008-03-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

I was never a fan of 'cop shoot cop' but i certainly remeber this song and this album cover. The song turned out to be weirdly prophetic. In college i copped a firewater album it was kinda eh(which was the singer dude's band after CSC ...i have no clue if cop shoot cop ever called themelves CSC ... let's hope they didn't)

Based on the above dude's face I kinda wanna buy a cop shoot cop album ... iran

Rap Dudes

2008-02-26T13:43:00.001-08:00

Yo Ben

2008-02-25T08:57:00.000-08:00

I might need to burn that new black mountain record ...and i want you to sell me a pt cruiser

Songs About Cigarettes

2008-02-19T10:52:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks back someone referred to me as "basically an adolescent" ...this was meant as a zinger but I took as a compliment. Being an adolescent in adulthood is waaaaaay better than being an actual teenager (of the year) ...or an adult for that matter. Speaking of adolescence ...

For no reason at all, I downloaded '24 hour revenge therapy' (sorry blake I wasn't really trying to pay for that again) ... dude, bro ... that record is kinda a BEAST ...it's like the musical equivalent of a wild boar... I mean for a record that is essentially about smoking cigs and hanging out at punk rock concerts ... shows I meant shows ... shit ... it’s pretty fucking GOOD...I’m sure it just nostalgia ...but other morning at 8am dressing for a job I’m not super stoaked about anymore ...I came pretty effing close to dying my hair some stupid color, throwing on a dead kennedys shirt, start furiously chaining smoking, and go tell someone who looks like he might teach high school to go eff himself ... But instead I went to work and did my job (kinda)

What I'm trying to say is: fuck, I kinda got really fuckin' "hyped" when "West Bay Invitational" comes in ... what a sad sack of shit that guy was ... and you know what ... god bless 'em for it ... am I right? this myspace page got some other toonage: also apparently there’s a band called "jawfaker" ...which ...well...kinda suck ...but whatever

The Boat Dreams from the Hill

Condition Oakland

West Bay Invitational

PS young felton is 6 weeks without a stog ... I've been there and all i can say is 'atta boy'

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T09:13:00.003-08:00

and for you lovers out there

Slow Down

2008-02-13T17:47:00.000-08:00

Obviously Tallian and myself love the '90s -- we have pulses. But, sometimes it's important to take it back a couple decades, ya heard? So I'm giving you dudes this little slice of golden heaven. Obviously, Rod Stewart struck out a few times but he also hit some grand slams. I challenge any of you chowda-heads to roll out on a Saturday night looking this tough. Try it. Can't be done. Slow down.

The Soft Rock Renegade

2008-02-10T11:02:00.001-08:00

If you're a guy like me, you spend at least some of your time thinking about who is badass and who isn't. Maybe it's being from new york, maybe it's like a family/gene thing, or maybe i'm just sick in the head.

That was kinda always my issue with indie rock ...it never really had any balls, and you know sometimes you want something with a ...well ...some fuckin balls. Don’t get me wrong i like music made by huge loser-nerds ... i mean i probably know more about the facts of morrissey's life than some of my good friends

However, sometimes you look at some shit like this and you're like fucking shit this is TOUGH ... i need to get on tv ...backed by two fat brothers, high as a kite, with a black eye and just scare the shit of letterman (wait what? BIG BLUE) ... thanks for sending me this josh ... so effing rad ...

So me and ben are gonna go see this dude and dulli (and lord knows SORB loves us some dulli) kick out the jams in a month .... it could get real intense

Happy 120: Part 2

2008-02-08T15:44:00.000-08:00

I just received an email from a dear friend that went like this:

dear suckton,

I read your newest post just moments ago, and while I applaud the subject matter-who could argue that those talented dudes have been largely overlooked-I'm confused by your song choice. I know you wanted to go a bit more obscure than 'Cult', but what's wrong with 'Funny Vibe' for chrissakes? Or one of the gems on Times Up or Stain? 'Open Letter' could be a Motley Crue song if you just changed the lyrics in the chorus to shit about hot tubs and Harley's.
Better yet, why not just a post dedicated to Muzz Skillings? I wonder what he's doing now...probably giving bass lessons to little kids who will eventually become you and Silk...

ALSO, after reading that RFTC post, I was reminded of when we saw them at Irving Plaza and had an extra ticket. I asked some dude in a big hooded parka if he needed a ticket, to which he replied "Hell no, who want's to see THIS fucking band", and then proceeded to walk in the side door. Was it you, or Rosenberg who then pointed out to me that I had just offered to scalp Speedo a ticket to his own show?

good times.

I replied:

Dearest Matthew,

Thanks for reading. I would like to respond to your beefs. First of all, I'm not sure if you checked all the links, but the "shred your damn faces" sentence will take you to a video of them performing "Cult" on Arsenio that will pretty much de-virginize you. "Glamor Boys," well, well that video is so ridiculous I had to include it. As far as "Open Letter to a Landlord" is concerned, I have to disagree. I've always loved that song, and being that SORB is a New York bog I felt it would be a good fit. And, as I mentioned, I've been thinking about that one a lot lately. I certainly should have included some stuff from Stained. "Leave it Alone" and "Bi" were definitely fucking monsters. I guess it slipped my mind. Perhaps a follow-up post should be in order.

As for your birthday RFTC show, I absolutely remember that. However, I seem to recall it being Nick Kramer who tried to scalp a ticket to Speedo. Could be wrong. Either way, it was Rosenberg that pointed it out.

I want so bad for you to stick your finger in my peanut butter.

--Ben

So here's a little more, bitches.

Funny Vibe

Leave it Alone

Happy 120

2008-02-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

TGI 120 Day, dudes -- my favorite part of the week. Yesterday, Talihan wrote of a certain life-changing show that we went to at CBGB back in the day. Just to back the dude up, he was right. Also, I'd like to add that at that show I didn't wear ear plugs (which I used to do but don't anymore, poseurs) and my little fifteen year-old ears rang for a week. I ended up going to the doctor who told me I would have unnoticeable but permanent ear damage -- I was stoked beyond stoked.

I bring this story about the RFTC show up, because it was part of the year that got the going-to-shows ball rolling. For many people, going to rock shows in high school was the way it was. Before the bars, and, well, the bars, social events of the weeks were at Roseland, Irving Plaza or the Academy (RIP), where I went to my first alt show ever. The openers were a new up and coming band called Candlebox. They were opening for a band called Living Colour.
Living Colour were tough as nails. Tell me what other band has been able to take the stage wearing bike shorts and playing neon-swirly-painted (whatever the fuck that means) guitars and still find a way to shred your damn faces off. What? Can't think of one? That's because there were not others.

Vivid was one of the first CDs I ever got and for some reason I've been thinking about this song a lot lately.

Alas, the boys called it quits. A few comebacks here and there, but it was never the same. Their impact, however, was never forgotten.

See you in the pit.

P.S. They used to wear damn wetsuits, too.

Speedo is the Fuckin Balls

2008-02-07T11:45:00.001-08:00

What I don't know about John Reis could fill a fuckin library ...but what I do know he is kinda the best ever.

But let me tell you a little story ...

Once upon a time me and young felton were in ninth grade (clearly my sense of humor never left 1993). Like anybody in 9th grade worth a damn, we we trying to be you know a little badass ... hair dying, smoking, pot, esoteric band t-shirts, etc. Okay maybe not badass, but better than the usual.

So the bff (BEN FUCKING FELTON) is like let's go see that band rocket from the crypt at CBGBs. 'Cause you know we had seen sturdy wrists video on the 'ol mtv, and immediately brought (or I think my brother might've stolen it from HMV) the tape of circa: now! Holy pitballs is that a great record. So we roll out with my brother and this dude luke.

Ben had his dinosaur jr t-shirt, and I had my orange hair (except for the big black part where I miss a huge portion of my hair), and we just trying to be fuckin boss, ya know.

And, guess what? we WERE fuckin boss. (At the time and for many years afterward I spent a shitload of time smoking pot, so I don't remember much about the blessed event) However I will never forget the feeling I got of my heart pumping fucking gasoline when Rocket from the Crypt hit the stage. The entire world changed in a way that has yet to be rectified
(ps jawbox and the grifters played,but this is a John Reis post)

A couple months later, in another super RAWK N ROLL move, Ben's parents took us to holocaust museum in D.C. During this trip Ben's purchased a CD of an album called YANK CRIME. I remember chain smoking camel un-filters we got from one of those old machines (man those machines were the best when we were kids) looking at the cd cover.

Then, you know, dudes went to college ...whatever whatever ... RFTC gets back together and it's kinda not super great; Drive like jehu is a wrap. Then all of sudden instead of Y2K, an even bigger "problem" steps on to the world historical stage ... a little record called Automatic Midnight

Then he had that band the sultans, which was real fuckin rad, 'cept they never played.

Now he's got some new deal called the Night Marchers ... so get ready to have your whole situation get topsy turvyed

What I'm trying to say is John Reis ... can we get married already

PS this girl is NOT afraid

SUPERMANNING THESE HOS

2008-02-04T20:49:00.000-08:00

Good Times (for a change?) ...actually ...eff that... GREAT FUCKIN TIMES ... the GIANTS have pulled off the greatest victory in history. The Pats have been CRUSHED. Eli Manning/Justin Tuck/Osi/Strahan/Tyree/Smith/Plaxico may be most important men in America and Tiki Barber is the worst dude evah ... I've been watching sports center all day long ... Dude this is a win for the ages and I will love every minute of it ... The one thing is ... my brother at one point during the game promised to rename his son Plaxico Eli "Talihan" ...that could get ruff ...

Honestly the victory is too heavy for words at this point. Suffice to say, it blew my mind and I turned into a 10 year old boy: hooting, hollering, and jumping up and down . I watched the game near a sketchy part of Brooklyn; I'm 89% sure I heard gunshots. After that, we were up till like 4am just high fiving every fucking duder in site. At one point we went to the east village ...not too many fans ...so we chanted "FASHION WEEK"(ed: it was supposed to be archers of loaf) and "INDIE ROCK." As they say, when in Rome ...ps the sebadoh reunion kinda blew chunks.

Honestly when the play (that starts at 0:20 in this video) happened: I had at least two heart attacks (which was the name of the hardcore band the dude who writes the Big Takeover was in) and a stroke

If you curios about the title of the post: you may be familiar with this beast of a song. So, my buddy came up with "supermanning these hos" during this historic giants run(i think it was the packers game, might've been dallas).

However, you may not be aware what the song is about. To "superman a ho," one must have anal sex with a woman (And not just any women apprantley. She msut be a women of "loose morals"), and then ejaculate on her. This would lead to having her get stuck to the sheet, thus causing her have a cape like superman ...PRETTY FUCKIN BOLD

PS I like the yanks, sue me

PPS its kinda "death by a thousand links" ...deals with it ...I’m on 3 hours of sleep.

Nice Work, Fellas

2008-02-04T13:13:00.000-08:00

Now, let's fucking go, Mets

Old Age

2008-02-04T12:18:00.001-08:00

Some guy once told me that if he ever got rich, he'd use all his money to make Polvo famous. I'm not sure that I was old enough back then to understand why that would have been such a great idea, but I do now. Loose t-shirts plus out of tune melodies equals some seriously tough indie rock. If you don't agree, then you were deprived of a childhood. Although Polvo are no more, it looks like those rad-as-hell people at ATP have struck reunion gold yet again. Next stop, New York?

Oh, and I hope none of you were planning on seeing Om this week. If you were -- bummer, dude.

Happy 120

2008-02-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

Welcome to round two of 120 Minutes Friday. I'm actually totally shocked that I've managed to commit to more than one of these things. Wild. To know Mr. Talihan and myself is to know that we've been long time supporters of alternative rock. In fact, I believe our friendship sprouted in 9th grade when Talihan asked me what kind of music I liked. Trying to sound whatever, I gave him a long, eclectic list. But, when I got to "alternative" he stopped me and simply said, "Oh, alternative? Yeah, me too." The rest is history. One of these alt bands that we've been sweatin' for quite some time is The Afghan Whigs. With lyrics like: Ladies let me tell you about myself/I got a dick for a brain/and my brain is gonna sell my ass to you/Now I'm okay, but in time I'll find I'm stuck/'Cause she wants love and I still wanna fuck, any male from ages 15 through 98 would pretty much consider singer Greg Dulli a golden god. "Honkey's Ladder" off the Black Love record was one of my favorite jams and this video for it has a little extra treat. Turn the volume up a bit:

Matt Pinfield! Holy shit! I haven't thought about you in years, sweet prince! He was great. MTV said, "Hey -- fuck a bunch of pretty boys and quirky girls. Let's get a short, fat, bald dude that loves the Buzzcocks to VJ for us. That'll show 'em." And they did. Once, in high school, a friend of mine and I went to see Sonic Youth at the Roseland Ballroom. We saw Mr. Pinfield walking around and we went up and told him we were fans. He was so fucking stoked. He got all up in our faces and started screaming, "YOU LOVE MUSIC!!! YOU LOVE MUSIC!!!" No shit. Then he started going, "Who do you love? Who do you love?" (Which kinda sounded like the "Really Wrong, Really Wrong" part of Caravan in the Last Waltz) Put on the spot, the best we could come up with was Frank Black to which he responded. "I HAD HIM ON THE SHOW!!! I LOOK JUST LIKE HIM!!!" Then he left. After that may have been when I had my first cigarette. But back to the Whigs. A tragic loss to the alternative rock world. Greg Dulli's got a new project called the Gutter Twins, but it'll never be "Debonair" or "Going to Town."

Pop Quiz (get it?)

2008-01-31T19:48:00.000-08:00

Q: What happens when you're one of the greatest rock bands ever and you decide to get wasted and play on SNL?

A: You end up pulling the ol' switcheroo with each other’s clothing. Duh.

Except Bobby. Not sure why nobody wanted to wear his threads.

Don't Forget the Struggle, Don't Forget the Streets and Keep on Truckin'

2008-01-31T09:12:00.000-08:00

I am only putting this up because the dual drumming proves one point: any punk band worth a damn will end up becoming The Grateful Dead...

...and that Guy Picciotto is perpetually a sixteen year old girl who gets made fun of for never getting her eyebrows waxed.

Get Well Soon ...

2008-01-31T08:15:00.000-08:00

Maybe getting "well" is too much to ask of David Yow. But good luck on the collapsed lung, solider. Holy fuck the Jesus Lizard were the goods. Me and Felton saw 'em at Irving Plaza at in like '94 or '95 ... They blew minds. I think girls aganist boys opened up but i might've made that up. I remembered the whole clerks thing but they covered joy division?

Tell it to 'Em, Edwin

2008-01-30T10:31:00.001-08:00

There's been a lot of anti-war talk lately, but we must remember that without war, we wouldn't be able to watch this god among men sing about how much he didn't like it. This is the best protest song ever.

Speaking of hardDCore ...

2008-01-30T10:14:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me probably knows there was a time in my life when I really liked hardcore. I mean like REALLY liked it. Liked it kinda too much probably. Literally, If i had a nickel for every time i've listened to the Minor Threat Discography, I could buy and sell all of you fuckers.

Another thing about me you might know is my impatience with boring conversation. If I find myself bored in a conversation, I pretty quickly resort to lying and/or saying wildly offensive things.

A while back I was at some party thing, it was my then girlfriend's friend deal, so I didn’t really know anybody there. It was kinda tame affair, a lotta wine glasses some yawns. So I started talking to some dude who kinda looked like one of those dudes from At the Drive-in/ The Mars Volta. So ya know its like “So what’d’ya do?” kinda thing. He’s like "I’m getting a PhD in History", so my initial thought was “yawncity."

But you you gotta be polite, right? So I'm like, “what's your thesis topic?” He tells me punk rock. God Bless America. Now I know American ain't perfect, but in no other country in the world could you be a straight up "Doctor of Punk Rock." However, my initial reaction is like wait is this gonna be some lame shit? That same old tired story about the ramones, (dee dee was so good, RIP) the sex pistols, the clash (paul simonon does not take shit from stuffed bears) and whatever band billy idol was in before he was rich, which then spawned nirvana 15 years later. Don't get me wrong, all those bands are the fucking goods (except maybe the pistols. they are kinda the whatevers), but that same old rock documentary story of punk rock is some boring ass shit to me.

So he goes on to tell me, that he is focusing in four cities (D.C., L.A., S.F., Olympia) and the political components of 80's hardcore in those cities. So obviously I'm pretty erect ..um... I mean excited. He tells me he's starting in DC to do the initial research. So you know he talked to ian mackaye, which is cool and all, but I've read a approxmiley 48 bazillion ian mackaye interviews in my life. The man has an extensive public record (He's kinda the best self righteous prick ever, and i mean no disrespect, if i was ian mckaye I'd tell people what's what too). So thats was kinda cool, but then he told me about Mr. Jeff Nelson.

Jeff Nelson rules (we are of cource talking about the dude who wrote "seeing red" not that a-hole former Yankee. Here are a few facts about the drummer of Minor Threat you probably wanna know

He despises punk rock. Absolutely hates it. Which isn't really that shocking
He has the world's largest bubblegum collection. He keeps them neatly displayed in 4 cases protected by plexi-glass. Apparently when this dude was interviewing him and they went to the 7-11 Jeff basically wild’ out cause there was a new bubblegum flavor out. It was like the best day of his life. I was starting to get the feeling jeff nelson is the fucking balls.
He is obsessed with the Jeep Grand Wagoneer. Some random fuckin' car they stopped making years ago. A room in his house is devoted to them with old ads and pics and Tonka versions and shit. He has four of them in his driveway. I guess they made Tonka trucks of them so he fashioned a totally authentic replica of the little Tonka plate and it’s a magnet and he puts it on his car when he riding around DC/Ohio.
There is some famous statue of a Buffalo on Dumbarton Bridge in DC and so apparently he spent hours climbing up and getting the precise measures of the Buffalo to make a replica that is exactly one third of the actual statue

This dude summed Mr Nelson as "basically some body's weird uncle." He also strikes me as the fuckin best. I can't keep up 3x"Out of step with the world"

P.S. This dude is "not afraid." This is defintley a husker du not a husker don't

Never Forget

2008-01-29T12:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I just forget. It's not a crime -- it happens to all of us -- but it's important to remind yourself every now and then that before today, there was yesterday, and before yesterday, there was the day before yesterday. What am I talking about? Rites of Spring. These guys are on my mile long list of bands that got me through some rough times. Curled up in a fetal position on my twin bed freshman year of college, spinning this on my Aiwa turntable, thinking of Washington, DC as a land with gold-plated sidewalks and chocolate covered fire hydrants. Anyway, this song was one of my favorites. I think I've ripped off this riff more times than Clapton ripped off Albert King. Really good.

Will Oldham Marked for Death

2008-01-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking this video from the summer? ... god ... Will Oldam, do me a favor. Get into your car, start that puppy up, rev it up a couple of time, then hang for like twenty minutes...just watch your beard grow, or think about how killer plaid patterns are or whatever it is you do with your freetime. Just make sure that you do not open the garage door during this process.

What I'm trying to tell say is, here's the thing about irony, its only good when it's creative in some fashion. I mean c'mon bro, just rapping and being a super white cracker-ass-cracker isn't all that funny in and of itself... Sorry ...But I mean we get "it: " black people live in urban areas and rap and white people live out in the country and make fun of black people ... i mean i guess that's funny ...but not really ... mostly just mildly racist ... ps tell you boy "Zack" that his shit is weaksauce ... start hanging out with Jason Lowenstein and Matt Sweeney again, not this unfunny tool

I mean seriously, how do you want me to respond "whoa he's rapping while on a tractor ...you blew my mind ...comic genius" ... what are you steve martin in a movie with queen latifah?!?! ... c'mon brah ... step your game up, hoss ... that shit is kinda like blackface 2007

I mean there was one or two palace records in the 90s that were pretty good(and clearly this blog has a boner for music from the 1990s) ...but you have blown all the good will created by them ... I mean I saw you open up for Godspeed You Black Emperor! ...shouldn't you be doing something cooler than lip syncing in videos in as a bad joke

Also don't cover Danzig bro ... i don't know Glenn Danzig and but you sir are no Glenn Danzig... but mean, we get it ... you're above it ...you are very clever and you wink after everything you do. Basically you have spawn a billion knowing bald dudes with tight pants, ironic beards, dangling keys and MANorexia ...Thanks for a whole lotta nuttin, dude (yes, that is a completely random NYHC reference)

Dude you are offically on notice ...get it together

Happy 120

2008-01-25T15:16:00.000-08:00

Last night a friend of mine and I were watching old episodes of MTV's 120 Minutes and I realized that after The Wire, this was probably the greatest show of all time. It's like a fucking novel, showing how this entire system is connected -- all the way from Midnight Oil to KMFDM.

Anyway, after watching about 215 minutes of it, I decided that every Friday would be 120 Minutes Day. This means that on every Friday of every week I will post a video that captures some aspect of this great program. Look forward to it.

A few months ago, Talihan and I were hanging, and he said something like, "All these dudes with tattoos all over their bodies are so lame. It's not like they're Henry Rollins." I couldn't have agreed more and told him that I was kinda starting to like the dude again. In college I thought of him as nothing more than the thinking man's jock, but after watching his show a few times I realized that homeboy's okay.

So that's where we'll start -- with good ol' HR (pun intended, nerds). This video got me through some rough times in 8th grade and if you're anything like me, it got you through some rough times in 8th grade too. As far as I'm concerned, this is just a traditional blues jam that kinda wants to cross over into funk-metal. No complaints.

And if you like this there are some more obscure Rollins videos out there and some great criticism.

So that's the first instalment of 120 Minutes Day. Now, smoke some cloves, take the 9 train to the village and throw back an Orbitz.

G-MEN

2008-01-22T12:57:00.001-08:00

BIG BLUE WRECKIN CREW !!! THE GIANTS ARE IN THE FUCKING SUPERBOWL

FUCKING BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT

Nobody can do this victory justice quite like TIM DOG ... To quote the dog "Let's talk about a bullshit city" ... Why are all these Boston fans living in New York ... If Boston so fuckin great ...go live there, man ... leave me the fuck alone ... This is a good summary of Boston sports fans and this is a good summary of the boston music scene ... My man Tim Dog ain't having it

Wearin' that fuckin' Raider hat
Giants won the Super Bowl, take that shit back

And for those of you who do not know about TIM DOG DAY, it is a holiday started by two upper westsiders named i250 (Invisible to 5-0) and Anthony. It became an official holiday in 1999, when i250 aka EAZE aka the Sleazy Professor and Anthony got Tim Dog t-shirts made, rolled around the city, and listened to Tim Dog all day long.

The holiday has its roots in a 1991 bar-mitzvah of i250 when he played "Fuck Compton" and the world changed forever.

To properly celebrate Tim Dog Day:

Smoke alotta doobage (preferably kind bud)
Have a T-shirt made that looks like this, which also happens to be the pic i250 had on his college ID
Roll to every borough in the city, with a boombox blasting Pelican on Wax
Listen to 'The Dog' all day while i250 recites every song word for for word.

P.S. if you are from Boston please don't beat me up ...

P.P.S. Sugar come by and get me high ...

Quicksands of Time

2008-01-22T12:19:00.000-08:00

I know I'm starting to repeat myself, but damn I miss them old days. Maybe it's the idea that my twenties are coming to an end that makes me feel the need to wax nostalgic every waking second or maybe it's just the fact that this is the hardest fucking thing I've ever seen. Gorilla Biscuits and the Smiths? Let's get some. I watch this video and am filled with shame and regret that I didn't spend more time at shows like this back in the day. What was I doing with myself back then? Probably something really lame like studying for my bar mitzvah. Thank god I outgrew that.

Like A Drifter

2008-01-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

I think this one pretty much speaks for itself in that it reminds us of a time when men were not afraid to be men. This video pretty much makes everything else we've posted look like Menudo. Also, you may recognize the singer from some other band he was in. Now, get on your knees and weep.

And of course the Judgement Night reference. The pickins are getting pretting damn slim.

NO AGE

2008-01-18T09:58:00.001-08:00

A part of me, really wants to hate on these dudes ... BAD. The put out a couple of singles and now everyone at lame-ass fuckin pitchfork just straight dick rides them. This "no barrier brother; come up on stage" "we love underground clubs" and "steal our music" stuff ... annoys me ...not cause i love barriers, hate underground clubs, or love spending money, but because it feels like I'm being sold a bill of goods...know-what-i-mean?

Plus, they wear stupid tight jeans and bad hats and talk about the punk rock purity and shit. I know its like ... "fuckin die, already." ... right?...or maybe I'm just a cynical prick ... I'm fully prepared to accept that ... and yet somehow i remained charmed

So whatever I guess I'll take 'em at thier word ... Here's the single comp for download ...If you just want a sample I'd go with Everybody's Down and My Life's Alright Without You

Weirdo Rippers (dowload)

Every Artist Needs a Tragedy
Boy Void
I Wanna Sleep
My Life's Alright Without You
Everybody's Down
Sun Spots
Loosen This Job
Neck Escaper
Dead Plane
Semi-Sorted
Escarpment

Judgement Night reference ... Man, House of Pain brought their a-game to soundtracks ... These two songs are as good as it gonna get with everlast & company ... "if i gotta do 'em; screw 'em; the convict's dead; I'll stab in the chest; just let the rest; of the cell block know that i'm nobody's ho"

P.S. Obviously Hilter would be a Cowboys fan

Woops...

2008-01-17T12:07:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot the required Judgement Night reference. Here you go, suckaz...

Guitardederer

2008-01-17T12:00:00.000-08:00

Question: Is it lame of me to post a clip of My Morning Jacket performing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien? Answer: I don't give a rat's ass. No shoes plus long hair plus shreddin' axes plus being overweight equals tough as nails. These dudes really put the Southern back in Southern Rock.

Don't You Get Me Started, Talihan

2008-01-15T23:27:00.000-08:00

It seems ol' Talihan thought it'd be a good idea to start dropping references to "Judgement Night." Well, hopefully this will prove him wrong -- or maybe right. It always gets a little confusing when you throw a bunch of Samoans into the mix...

P.S. If you disagree with the fact that this song rules, then you're afraid of who you really are. Hit the couch, poseur.

I'm Picking Up What You're Throwing Down, J Mascis

2008-01-15T11:17:00.000-08:00

You kinda tear lou barlow a new one in Our Band Could be Your Life .... I read that book by that bag'o'chilli telling me about all the cool music shit i missed by being born in 1979 rather than 1969 ... Thanks for nothing Azzerad, you fucker ... but yeah I gotta say ... Mr. Masicis ...dude .... sir ... I feel you ... I might've kicked this dude outta my band too ...

But what can I say, I still kinda love a dude with this healthy a sense of obsessive self-pity

SeBADoh - jealous of jesus
Dinosaur jr - does it float (live)
SeBADoh - freed pig
SeBADoh - high school
SeBADoh - jealous evil

P.S. There will now be a Judgement Night link in every post

P.P.S. Oscar's Deep Wound shirt is kinda killer

Those Were the Days

2008-01-14T14:56:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I miss the '90s so bad, I just need to get it out...

...and thank god I'm not the only one.

Righteous, Babe

2008-01-11T15:20:00.001-08:00

I never knew it -- or maybe I just forgot -- but there was a time when daytime talk shows hosted by beautiful women served purposes far beyond sisterly comradery and great book recommendations. I believe this is what Ian Mackaye had in mind when he penned "Salad Days."

P.S. I'm not sure who Jane Pratt is but, sister if you're single and ready to mingle, holla back.

Guitardeder

2008-01-10T13:45:00.000-08:00

I don't want to beat a dead horse or nothin', but this it just too good. I sometimes feel bad for laughing at Metallica, but then I remember that they're Metallica. This song never sounded better.

Guitarded

2008-01-09T10:31:00.000-08:00

There's really not much to say here -- this thing pretty much speaks for itself. Slash, if you're out there -- this is a lot better than anything you've ever done, and you're pretty good, so this is really good, dude. And shalom.

Mean Streets is on HBO On-Demand

2008-01-08T08:22:00.000-08:00

I couldn't find a good quality version of Detachable Penis on YouTube

Atta Boy Mike Patton

2008-01-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

Mike tears wolfmother a new one ...here are some links for the videos for Midlife Crisis and Digging the Grave ... what the hell .. here's another body murdered ...

Because let's face, no one wants to hear his album where is like "a smooth pimp" or whatever that nonsense was with rahzel (is that guy even still alive?)

Speaking of that dude... I once met rahzel when I worked at Coliseum Books (RIP) ...he asked for for a book... guess what this dude was looking for ...this rapper ... a rhyming dictionary ...I'm not shitting you ... You know who else I once met at the bookstore... Jerry Orbach ... that guy was a bro ...and david johansen ...who was looking for books on angels

Hey Mike, quit it with thsi dan the automater nonsense and stick with my ace Duane "effing' Denison ... I promise Duane ain't coming in to a bookstore or any place else looking for a rhyming dictionary ...he's too fucking boss for that

Plus his name is Duane ... even if he wasn't the fuckin goods his name would be Duane and that alone would make him kinda a fuckin dude. Also, before you get yourself in trouble lemme remind you fuck with the Denison you get the horns (...wait for it)

Merry Xmas

2007-12-24T11:00:00.000-08:00

From the the pope or ... evil incarnate. I'm really not sure which

Ladies and Gentlemen ...

2007-12-21T07:15:00.000-08:00

I present to you ... Ben 'Fuckin' Felton:

While me and young Felton made every one's night with our audience participation at Bowery Ballroom (except for this one bouncer who was furious at me)... Some band played some songs ... JESUS, TAKE ME TO A HIGHER PLACE!!!!!!!!!

Touch me I'm sick

Sweet Young Thing Ain't Sweet No More

Need

Part Chimp

2007-12-20T07:57:00.000-08:00

I haven't given two shits about Mogawi since "come on die young" (remember how they started the record with that iggy interview ...shit was kinda boss) ... but honestly I can't even think of the name of the record tat cam out after it and i know i bought it

Well, Part Chimp really has nothing to do with Mogawi except that Mogawi put out their record in Europe on Rock Action records (oh yeah that was the (awful) title of the record that followed CODY) ...

Part Chimp is the shit-shit ... Kinda like unwound...if unwound weren't such fucking pussies...uh i mean if they were louder.... I first discovered them cause some smelly fucking hippy used their songs as part of a promo for that "fast food nation" movie ... I am personally pro-multinational corporations killing people off with diseased food, but i thought the songs were kinda killin' 'em so I got "I am come"... good tunes ...they also have a singles comp call "cup" which is pretty much the business ...there first record is called "chart pimp" ... witty...but i ain't heard it ... so in summary

Watch this video, download the songs, buy a record, and prepared to have your face melted off ...

All from the I Am Come record

Punishment Ride
I Am Come
30 Billion People ... not to be confused with 100 million dollars which is also a really good song .. the baby verse kinda blows minds ... IRAN ... and yeah i know white people like lil wheezy in some ironic way ...but "i ain't made at him" cause he kinda drops gems on duders. Forget the other fat guys in the video they ain't saying much. But the birdman/lil Wayne are good...I mean c'mon they are famous rappers yet they have a relationship that is both homoerotic and oedipal at the same time. Not bad.

Sleeveface

2007-12-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

Such a simple idea, and yet so genius

For more go here and hit refresh a couple of times

If you are a 12 year old girl and have a facebook account, you can see more here

What the fuck?!

2007-12-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

I'm so thoroughly confused... and entertained

Kill Me

2007-12-10T07:37:00.001-08:00

Now normally ... I read the words "fall out boy" and i imediatley think "too easy." Making fun of fall out boy or really commenting on them in anyway feels ...well cheap ... like pushing a quadropelgic down a flight of stairs or challenging a retarded adult to a game of chess. But, I'm pretty sure this pile of shit could inspire ian curtis to commit suicide a second time.

Speaking of King Diamond

2007-12-07T07:22:00.000-08:00

He's kinda the fucking duder. I mean for real the dude models himself after some nutty voodoo shit ... who did iggy model himself after? jim morrison, fuck that. Who do you model yourself after? Your parents? An old teacher? Mohandas Gandhi? Fuckin lame, bro. Fucking lame.

He named his skull-cross microphone "melissa" ... what did you name yours? Oh yeah, you didn't. Because you don't have one have a fucking skull-cross microphone? DO you, you fucking loser?

Is your non-existant skull croos mic named after a witch? No I didn't think so. The king D named his after this witch who he loved. She got burnt at the stake by a dirty priest. So let's clear one thing up. Even if you had a skull-cross mic it would not have THIS back story. Cause there's no way you could pull a witch dude. You aint got it like that, hos.. Witches are tuff to score with dude, that's kinda a known thing. I mean if you had a shot, but c'mon look in the mirror.

Then you know what your man KD did? Huh, do ya? He put a curse on that prick fucking priest. What would you do? Fucking cry about it? If you don't belive King D did check "Come to the Sabbath" (below) (that not that you'd be invited to sabbath bro, only real motherfucking Gs allowed)

He cursed Manowar (althought I'm pretty sure they cursed themselves by writing those songs) ... ps did you know that a memeber of the dictators was in manowar ... yeah me neither ... wait a second. am i really discussing manowar? .... moving on

here's another thing about "the big D" he loves the hate:

"We hate Mercyful Fate. We just want to kill 'em, then rape King Diamonds mother!" - Cronos, Venom ... who let's face it is quite quotable

I dare to sing that high, broham ... triple-dog-dare ... you aint doing itcause you aint the king, your a prince diamond at best ... probably just a duke ...

nah but seriously .... do me a favor

DON'T BREAK THE OATH!!!!!!!!!

A Dangerous Meeting

The Oath

Come to the Sabbath

Happy Chanukah

2007-12-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

What? King Diamond and Aton LaVey are TIght Bros From Way Back When

2007-11-27T10:13:00.000-08:00

Dude you gotta hear this if you haven't already ...
Some random dude named Derek just goes off ...it's basically the most amazing thing i've ever heard in my pathetic life. ... Just listen it's just totally fucking beyond anything ... all I'll say is it begins with a discussion of removing a boot and ends with a discussion of Robin Trower, Ritchie Blackmore and David Gilmore that is more entertaining than any music Robin Trower has ever produced

From chunklet:
Known almost exclusively as the back story behind the naming of Olympia's Tight Bros From The Way Back When, this recording provides an extended phone call between a record store employee and a wrecked drug casualty named Derek. All I was able to discover (thru Jared, now currently of Melvins/Big Business) is that Sean Kelly from the band was the one to get this tape initially

This Guy

2007-11-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

whats this fucker's name again? ... Ben something? I was never a super fan but I liked Blue Cathedral and im kinda into this video ... unlike B.C. ... its not harshing my meollow
Six Organs of Admittance - Shelter from the Ash

Here's the first three tunes on Blue Cath... cause it about the album not the indivual songs ... ya overstand?

The Bee and the Cracking Egg
Pussy Foot the Duke
Whiskey River

Season Duece

2007-11-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

You know the rap dudes say ...What's good?

Well here's the answer:

Season Two of Soft Focus is out. So far he scored interviews with Mark E. Smith and Kevin Shields...not bad ace ... at one point he asks Mark E. Smith about being married ... Mark responds: "you should clean your teeth..." then finally "fucking drop it, ya cunt"

Burka Band

2007-11-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

You give me all your love
You give all kisses
and then you touch my burka
and don't know who is it

I know I know ... it's gotta be some dude in skinny jeans pulling yr chain, right? .. according to this dude it's real deal
http://www.lnd.dk/burkaband_eng.htm

P.S.: I could watch that terror..err..lady play the bass all day ... it's not as good as ben's air bass but its something ...

A couple of Old Videos

2007-11-14T12:51:00.001-08:00

Cause me & young mr felton are gonna go see these outdated sacks-a-shit try and recapture the magic

Mudhoney -In the Drink

Mudhoney - Here comes Sickness

Speaking of random old people from the the upper left coast ....

Seaweed – Kid Candy (some nog disabled the embedding dohicky for that song Measure)

Quick Question

2007-11-12T08:11:00.000-08:00

Who's the aging dope-sick gay man with the unlpugged guitar in the right corner?

Oh, its pat smear

Dave just give him the money for the drugs/rent/etc. don't parade him on stage ...it makes us sad

Amazing Journey: The story of the Who

2007-11-07T12:04:00.001-08:00

So I uh, just got a new boss at work ...and yeah he is not dissimilar to the old boss ...

Did you losing losers catch this on vh1 on sat night? If you missed it you blew it ... throughly blew it ... commerical free baby ... ps did you know that the 1996 reunion was so that my main man John Entwistle could cop more skelton leather suits and fancy whips (cars for you crackers) ...apprantley the dude was broke as a joke and Pete only did the reunion so Entwistle could get out from under (Iran)

Anyway ... Hendrix = swagger jacker

Sleep 1994

2007-10-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

Go ahead, kick off those ratty reebok hightops, loosen up that "rest in pieces" era bullet belt, crack a ice cold brewsky, twist up that doobage, thrown off that demin jacket with the deep purple patch, and let that rats nest you call a hair do just lay, you got an hour and 18 minutesto wrap your dome-piece around this gem:

I found it on this sah-wheet sleep fan myspace page

You Have to Go Pee-Pee in the Potty

2007-10-11T07:38:00.001-07:00

This band is named after peeing your pants, which seems like a good plan to me ‘cause, I mean, honestly -- taking a piss while wearing your pants is punk-fuckin-rock. I mean, I wish I could say i peed myself more often -- i've pissed in my bed more than twice, but never full-on peed my pants.

In the 5th grade this girl pissed herself the first day of school, which was awesome in and of itself since that meant there was pee all over the floor of the class room and Mr. Bass lost his shit (holy shit was he an awful human being. But I mean, c'mon. A pissed floor? That's good times, right there.)

The other thing that was amazing about the incident was the response from the school. This girl happened to have peed on the floor of "top class" of PS 95. (I'm not tootin' my own horn. Being in the top class of a public school in the Bronx is like being the dude in Rush who gets the most ass: every other fifth grade class was filled with 25 year old juvenile delinquents)

Anyway, after she pissed herself she got demoted a class (ouch) "Oh you pissed yourself? I see. Well then you are clearly a functional retard. I think we'll give your spot in the top class to a brick, since that brick would clearly be better prepared for the level of work in this class." Basically what I’m saying is that the event was kinda awesome in its cruelty -- let's hope she didn't become a prostitute

In terms of the band, the record’s pretty decent, if dirivitive. (david yow, much?).

But it’s a pretty fun record. I mean, c'mon. The song's about ice cream rather than the usual shit of politics (born against) or drugs/molestation/AIDS/being an asshole (drunks with guns)

Speaking of Sub Pop, somebody tell that nub-guzzler Iron and Wine to go somewhere quiet and peaceful and shoot himself ...