Pop Quiz (get it?)

Q: What happens when you're one of the greatest rock bands ever and you decide to get wasted and play on SNL?



A: You end up pulling the ol' switcheroo with each other’s clothing. Duh.



Except Bobby. Not sure why nobody wanted to wear his threads.

Don't Forget the Struggle, Don't Forget the Streets and Keep on Truckin'

I am only putting this up because the dual drumming proves one point: any punk band worth a damn will end up becoming The Grateful Dead...



...and that Guy Picciotto is perpetually a sixteen year old girl who gets made fun of for never getting her eyebrows waxed.

Get Well Soon ...

Maybe getting "well" is too much to ask of David Yow. But good luck on the collapsed lung, solider. Holy fuck the Jesus Lizard were the goods. Me and Felton saw 'em at Irving Plaza at in like '94 or '95 ... They blew minds. I think girls aganist boys opened up but i might've made that up. I remembered the whole clerks thing but they covered joy division?

Tell it to 'Em, Edwin

There's been a lot of anti-war talk lately, but we must remember that without war, we wouldn't be able to watch this god among men sing about how much he didn't like it. This is the best protest song ever.

Speaking of hardDCore ...

Anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me probably knows there was a time in my life when I really liked hardcore. I mean like REALLY liked it. Liked it kinda too much probably. Literally, If i had a nickel for every time i've listened to the Minor Threat Discography, I could buy and sell all of you fuckers.


Another thing about me you might know is my impatience with boring conversation. If I find myself bored in a conversation, I pretty quickly resort to lying and/or saying wildly offensive things.



A while back I was at some party thing, it was my then girlfriend's friend deal, so I didn’t really know anybody there. It was kinda tame affair, a lotta wine glasses some yawns. So I started talking to some dude who kinda looked like one of those dudes from At the Drive-in/ The Mars Volta. So ya know its like “So what’d’ya do?” kinda thing. He’s like "I’m getting a PhD in History", so my initial thought was “yawncity."


But you you gotta be polite, right? So I'm like, “what's your thesis topic?” He tells me punk rock. God Bless America. Now I know American ain't perfect, but in no other country in the world could you be a straight up "Doctor of Punk Rock." However, my initial reaction is like wait is this gonna be some lame shit? That same old tired story about the ramones, (dee dee was so good, RIP) the sex pistols, the clash (paul simonon does not take shit from stuffed bears) and whatever band billy idol was in before he was rich, which then spawned nirvana 15 years later. Don't get me wrong, all those bands are the fucking goods (except maybe the pistols. they are kinda the whatevers), but that same old rock documentary story of punk rock is some boring ass shit to me.



So he goes on to tell me, that he is focusing in four cities (D.C., L.A., S.F., Olympia) and the political components of 80's hardcore in those cities. So obviously I'm pretty erect ..um... I mean excited. He tells me he's starting in DC to do the initial research. So you know he talked to ian mackaye, which is cool and all, but I've read a approxmiley 48 bazillion ian mackaye interviews in my life. The man has an extensive public record (He's kinda the best self righteous prick ever, and i mean no disrespect, if i was ian mckaye I'd tell people what's what too). So thats was kinda cool, but then he told me about Mr. Jeff Nelson.


Jeff Nelson rules (we are of cource talking about the dude who wrote "seeing red" not that a-hole former Yankee. Here are a few facts about the drummer of Minor Threat you probably wanna know

1. He despises punk rock. Absolutely hates it. Which isn't really that shocking
2. He has the world's largest bubblegum collection. He keeps them neatly displayed in 4 cases protected by plexi-glass. Apparently when this dude was interviewing him and they went to the 7-11 Jeff basically wild’ out cause there was a new bubblegum flavor out. It was like the best day of his life. I was starting to get the feeling jeff nelson is the fucking balls.
3. He is obsessed with the Jeep Grand Wagoneer. Some random fuckin' car they stopped making years ago. A room in his house is devoted to them with old ads and pics and Tonka versions and shit. He has four of them in his driveway. I guess they made Tonka trucks of them so he fashioned a totally authentic replica of the little Tonka plate and it’s a magnet and he puts it on his car when he riding around DC/Ohio.
4. There is some famous statue of a Buffalo on Dumbarton Bridge in DC and so apparently he spent hours climbing up and getting the precise measures of the Buffalo to make a replica that is exactly one third of the actual statue
   

This dude summed Mr Nelson as "basically some body's weird uncle." He also strikes me as the fuckin best. I can't keep up 3x"Out of step with the world"


P.S. This dude is "not afraid." This is defintley a husker du not a husker don't

Never Forget

Sometimes, I just forget. It's not a crime -- it happens to all of us -- but it's important to remind yourself every now and then that before today, there was yesterday, and before yesterday, there was the day before yesterday. What am I talking about? Rites of Spring. These guys are on my mile long list of bands that got me through some rough times. Curled up in a fetal position on my twin bed freshman year of college, spinning this on my Aiwa turntable, thinking of Washington, DC as a land with gold-plated sidewalks and chocolate covered fire hydrants. Anyway, this song was one of my favorites. I think I've ripped off this riff more times than Clapton ripped off Albert King. Really good.

Will Oldham Marked for Death

I was just thinking this video from the summer? ... god ... Will Oldam, do me a favor. Get into your car, start that puppy up, rev it up a couple of time, then hang for like twenty minutes...just watch your beard grow, or think about how killer plaid patterns are or whatever it is you do with your freetime. Just make sure that you do not open the garage door during this process.
What I'm trying to tell say is, here's the thing about irony, its only good when it's creative in some fashion. I mean c'mon bro, just rapping and being a super white cracker-ass-cracker isn't all that funny in and of itself... Sorry ...But I mean we get "it: " black people live in urban areas and rap and white people live out in the country and make fun of black people ... i mean i guess that's funny ...but not really ... mostly just mildly racist ... ps tell you boy "Zack" that his shit is weaksauce ... start hanging out with Jason Lowenstein and Matt Sweeney again, not this unfunny tool

I mean seriously, how do you want me to respond "whoa he's rapping while on a tractor ...you blew my mind ...comic genius" ... what are you steve martin in a movie with queen latifah?!?! ... c'mon brah ... step your game up, hoss ... that shit is kinda like blackface 2007

I mean there was one or two palace records in the 90s that were pretty good(and clearly this blog has a boner for music from the 1990s) ...but you have blown all the good will created by them ... I mean I saw you open up for Godspeed You Black Emperor! ...shouldn't you be doing something cooler than lip syncing in videos in as a bad joke

Also don't cover Danzig bro ... i don't know Glenn Danzig and but you sir are no Glenn Danzig... but mean, we get it ... you're above it ...you are very clever and you wink after everything you do. Basically you have spawn a billion knowing bald dudes with tight pants, ironic beards, dangling keys and MANorexia ...Thanks for a whole lotta nuttin, dude (yes, that is a completely random NYHC reference)

Dude you are offically on notice ...get it together

Happy 120

Last night a friend of mine and I were watching old episodes of MTV's 120 Minutes and I realized that after The Wire, this was probably the greatest show of all time. It's like a fucking novel, showing how this entire system is connected -- all the way from Midnight Oil to KMFDM.

Anyway, after watching about 215 minutes of it, I decided that every Friday would be 120 Minutes Day. This means that on every Friday of every week I will post a video that captures some aspect of this great program. Look forward to it.

A few months ago, Talihan and I were hanging, and he said something like, "All these dudes with tattoos all over their bodies are so lame. It's not like they're Henry Rollins." I couldn't have agreed more and told him that I was kinda starting to like the dude again. In college I thought of him as nothing more than the thinking man's jock, but after watching his show a few times I realized that homeboy's okay.

So that's where we'll start -- with good ol' HR (pun intended, nerds). This video got me through some rough times in 8th grade and if you're anything like me, it got you through some rough times in 8th grade too. As far as I'm concerned, this is just a traditional blues jam that kinda wants to cross over into funk-metal. No complaints.



And if you like this there are some more obscure Rollins videos out there and some great criticism.

So that's the first instalment of 120 Minutes Day. Now, smoke some cloves, take the 9 train to the village and throw back an Orbitz.

G-MEN

BIG BLUE WRECKIN CREW !!! THE GIANTS ARE IN THE FUCKING SUPERBOWL

FUCKING BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT

Nobody can do this victory justice quite like TIM DOG ... To quote the dog "Let's talk about a bullshit city" ... Why are all these Boston fans living in New York ... If Boston so fuckin great ...go live there, man ... leave me the fuck alone ... This is a good summary of Boston sports fans and this is a good summary of the boston music scene ... My man Tim Dog ain't having it

Wearin' that fuckin' Raider hat
Giants won the Super Bowl, take that shit back

And for those of you who do not know about TIM DOG DAY, it is a holiday started by two upper westsiders named i250 (Invisible to 5-0) and Anthony. It became an official holiday in 1999, when i250 aka EAZE aka the Sleazy Professor and Anthony got Tim Dog t-shirts made, rolled around the city, and listened to Tim Dog all day long.

The holiday has its roots in a 1991 bar-mitzvah of i250 when he played "Fuck Compton" and the world changed forever.

To properly celebrate Tim Dog Day:

1. Smoke alotta doobage (preferably kind bud)
2. Have a T-shirt made that looks like this, which also happens to be the pic i250 had on his college ID
3. Roll to every borough in the city, with a boombox blasting Pelican on Wax
4. Listen to 'The Dog' all day while i250 recites every song word for for word.
   

P.S. if you are from Boston please don't beat me up ...

P.P.S. Sugar come by and get me high ...

Quicksands of Time

I know I'm starting to repeat myself, but damn I miss them old days. Maybe it's the idea that my twenties are coming to an end that makes me feel the need to wax nostalgic every waking second or maybe it's just the fact that this is the hardest fucking thing I've ever seen. Gorilla Biscuits and the Smiths? Let's get some. I watch this video and am filled with shame and regret that I didn't spend more time at shows like this back in the day. What was I doing with myself back then? Probably something really lame like studying for my bar mitzvah. Thank god I outgrew that.

Like A Drifter

I think this one pretty much speaks for itself in that it reminds us of a time when men were not afraid to be men. This video pretty much makes everything else we've posted look like Menudo. Also, you may recognize the singer from some other band he was in. Now, get on your knees and weep.



And of course the Judgement Night reference. The pickins are getting pretting damn slim.

NO AGE

A part of me, really wants to hate on these dudes ... BAD. The put out a couple of singles and now everyone at lame-ass fuckin pitchfork just straight dick rides them. This "no barrier brother; come up on stage" "we love underground clubs" and "steal our music" stuff ... annoys me ...not cause i love barriers, hate underground clubs, or love spending money, but because it feels like I'm being sold a bill of goods...know-what-i-mean?

Plus, they wear stupid tight jeans and bad hats and talk about the punk rock purity and shit. I know its like ... "fuckin die, already." ... right?...or maybe I'm just a cynical prick ... I'm fully prepared to accept that ... and yet somehow i remained charmed


So whatever I guess I'll take 'em at thier word ... Here's the single comp for download ...If you just want a sample I'd go with Everybody's Down and My Life's Alright Without You

Weirdo Rippers (dowload)

Every Artist Needs a Tragedy
Boy Void
I Wanna Sleep
My Life's Alright Without You
Everybody's Down
Sun Spots
Loosen This Job
Neck Escaper
Dead Plane
Semi-Sorted
Escarpment

Judgement Night reference ... Man, House of Pain brought their a-game to soundtracks ... These two songs are as good as it gonna get with everlast & company ... "if i gotta do 'em; screw 'em; the convict's dead; I'll stab in the chest; just let the rest; of the cell block know that i'm nobody's ho"

P.S. Obviously Hilter would be a Cowboys fan

Woops...

I almost forgot the required Judgement Night reference. Here you go, suckaz...

Guitardederer

Question: Is it lame of me to post a clip of My Morning Jacket performing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien? Answer: I don't give a rat's ass. No shoes plus long hair plus shreddin' axes plus being overweight equals tough as nails. These dudes really put the Southern back in Southern Rock.

Don't You Get Me Started, Talihan

It seems ol' Talihan thought it'd be a good idea to start dropping references to "Judgement Night." Well, hopefully this will prove him wrong -- or maybe right. It always gets a little confusing when you throw a bunch of Samoans into the mix...



P.S. If you disagree with the fact that this song rules, then you're afraid of who you really are. Hit the couch, poseur.

I'm Picking Up What You're Throwing Down, J Mascis

You kinda tear lou barlow a new one in Our Band Could be Your Life .... I read that book by that bag'o'chilli telling me about all the cool music shit i missed by being born in 1979 rather than 1969 ... Thanks for nothing Azzerad, you fucker ... but yeah I gotta say ... Mr. Masicis ...dude .... sir ... I feel you ... I might've kicked this dude outta my band too ...

But what can I say, I still kinda love a dude with this healthy a sense of obsessive self-pity

SeBADoh - jealous of jesus
Dinosaur jr - does it float (live)
SeBADoh - freed pig
SeBADoh - high school
SeBADoh - jealous evil

P.S. There will now be a Judgement Night link in every post

P.P.S. Oscar's Deep Wound shirt is kinda killer

Those Were the Days

Sometimes I miss the '90s so bad, I just need to get it out...



...and thank god I'm not the only one.

Righteous, Babe

I never knew it -- or maybe I just forgot -- but there was a time when daytime talk shows hosted by beautiful women served purposes far beyond sisterly comradery and great book recommendations. I believe this is what Ian Mackaye had in mind when he penned "Salad Days."



P.S. I'm not sure who Jane Pratt is but, sister if you're single and ready to mingle, holla back.

Guitardeder

I don't want to beat a dead horse or nothin', but this it just too good. I sometimes feel bad for laughing at Metallica, but then I remember that they're Metallica. This song never sounded better.

Guitarded

There's really not much to say here -- this thing pretty much speaks for itself. Slash, if you're out there -- this is a lot better than anything you've ever done, and you're pretty good, so this is really good, dude. And shalom.

Mean Streets is on HBO On-Demand

I couldn't find a good quality version of Detachable Penis on YouTube

Atta Boy Mike Patton

Mike tears wolfmother a new one ...here are some links for the videos for Midlife Crisis and Digging the Grave ... what the hell .. here's another body murdered ...

Because let's face, no one wants to hear his album where is like "a smooth pimp" or whatever that nonsense was with rahzel (is that guy even still alive?)

Speaking of that dude... I once met rahzel when I worked at Coliseum Books (RIP) ...he asked for for a book... guess what this dude was looking for ...this rapper ... a rhyming dictionary ...I'm not shitting you ... You know who else I once met at the bookstore... Jerry Orbach ... that guy was a bro ...and david johansen ...who was looking for books on angels

Hey Mike, quit it with thsi dan the automater nonsense and stick with my ace Duane "effing' Denison ... I promise Duane ain't coming in to a bookstore or any place else looking for a rhyming dictionary ...he's too fucking boss for that

Plus his name is Duane ... even if he wasn't the fuckin goods his name would be Duane and that alone would make him kinda a fuckin dude. Also, before you get yourself in trouble lemme remind you fuck with the Denison you get the horns (...wait for it)