Speaking of hardDCore ...

Anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me probably knows there was a time in my life when I really liked hardcore. I mean like REALLY liked it. Liked it kinda too much probably. Literally, If i had a nickel for every time i've listened to the Minor Threat Discography, I could buy and sell all of you fuckers.


Another thing about me you might know is my impatience with boring conversation. If I find myself bored in a conversation, I pretty quickly resort to lying and/or saying wildly offensive things.



A while back I was at some party thing, it was my then girlfriend's friend deal, so I didn’t really know anybody there. It was kinda tame affair, a lotta wine glasses some yawns. So I started talking to some dude who kinda looked like one of those dudes from At the Drive-in/ The Mars Volta. So ya know its like “So what’d’ya do?” kinda thing. He’s like "I’m getting a PhD in History", so my initial thought was “yawncity."


But you you gotta be polite, right? So I'm like, “what's your thesis topic?” He tells me punk rock. God Bless America. Now I know American ain't perfect, but in no other country in the world could you be a straight up "Doctor of Punk Rock." However, my initial reaction is like wait is this gonna be some lame shit? That same old tired story about the ramones, (dee dee was so good, RIP) the sex pistols, the clash (paul simonon does not take shit from stuffed bears) and whatever band billy idol was in before he was rich, which then spawned nirvana 15 years later. Don't get me wrong, all those bands are the fucking goods (except maybe the pistols. they are kinda the whatevers), but that same old rock documentary story of punk rock is some boring ass shit to me.



So he goes on to tell me, that he is focusing in four cities (D.C., L.A., S.F., Olympia) and the political components of 80's hardcore in those cities. So obviously I'm pretty erect ..um... I mean excited. He tells me he's starting in DC to do the initial research. So you know he talked to ian mackaye, which is cool and all, but I've read a approxmiley 48 bazillion ian mackaye interviews in my life. The man has an extensive public record (He's kinda the best self righteous prick ever, and i mean no disrespect, if i was ian mckaye I'd tell people what's what too). So thats was kinda cool, but then he told me about Mr. Jeff Nelson.


Jeff Nelson rules (we are of cource talking about the dude who wrote "seeing red" not that a-hole former Yankee. Here are a few facts about the drummer of Minor Threat you probably wanna know

1. He despises punk rock. Absolutely hates it. Which isn't really that shocking
2. He has the world's largest bubblegum collection. He keeps them neatly displayed in 4 cases protected by plexi-glass. Apparently when this dude was interviewing him and they went to the 7-11 Jeff basically wild’ out cause there was a new bubblegum flavor out. It was like the best day of his life. I was starting to get the feeling jeff nelson is the fucking balls.
3. He is obsessed with the Jeep Grand Wagoneer. Some random fuckin' car they stopped making years ago. A room in his house is devoted to them with old ads and pics and Tonka versions and shit. He has four of them in his driveway. I guess they made Tonka trucks of them so he fashioned a totally authentic replica of the little Tonka plate and it’s a magnet and he puts it on his car when he riding around DC/Ohio.
4. There is some famous statue of a Buffalo on Dumbarton Bridge in DC and so apparently he spent hours climbing up and getting the precise measures of the Buffalo to make a replica that is exactly one third of the actual statue
   

This dude summed Mr Nelson as "basically some body's weird uncle." He also strikes me as the fuckin best. I can't keep up 3x"Out of step with the world"


P.S. This dude is "not afraid." This is defintley a husker du not a husker don't