You got some kick ass shit

Turns out there's a blog called In Noise We Crust. Whoa that is good name for ... um ... well ... just about anything. My daughter's first name is definitely gonna be that In-Noise-We-Crust Talihan. I mean either that or Mary.

When was the last time this lady had a new idea? Oh yeah this was it and it was awesome

Beatiful Babies

Hey, so, you know, how people like really like babies. Like people will smile and talk to babies without a second thought. People will be walking down the street and people will just waive and flash a big shit-eating grin at them. And even if they are a little shy about saying 'what up' to the baby, they would smile to themselves as if to say "fuck, just seeing that baby's baby-ass face made me happy." Nobody smiles and waives at me, fucking babies get all the breaks. Now don't get me wrong I'm not anti-baby, I fucks with babies. Some are cool. For instance when my nephew was a baby he was super rad and he made me smile endlessly. I mean we are still totally bffs (best fucking friends). We always play a game called superboy but it's not like that extra gross song ... it jsut involes me picking him up and throwing him around. But like most babies and kids I'm just kinda like 'meh.' I don't mind them but they don't blow my mind or whatever ...

However I can emphatize with that feeling. I feel it when ever I see kids at punk rock shows. I mean when I see those kids limbs just start flaling around and screaming into microphones, it makes me smile unknowningly. It's a beatiful thing. The other month me moti, and ben went see fucked up twice in a week (and honestly I was kinda pist I didn't attend the third show of the week). And my homeboy todd p comes through and tells the kids to behave and not smoke outside, and its all very sweet, ya know. Like DIY or FUBU, you know. So Pink Eyes, who, by the by, is the fucking balls, gets on stage and is like "TEAR THIS PLACE UP DOWN ... but like in the most respectful way possible." Like how sweet is that?!! ... these kids come thru to some slightly skechy part of Brooklyn to just kinda go off, and some random dudes work hard to make it happen. I mean that's just plain lovely. It just makes you feel good, you know, like when you're in love, or give to the poor, or when rusty cage comes on in a bar out of nowhere. It just kinda made me realize i know th feeling when people look at babies they have no relation to and just smile to themsleves... but then again it's sometimes just really d-u-m dumb

Ps the duders they show at 23 seconds are like so fucking good looking i don't what to do with myself.

Danzig Live: The Socratic Method

Wait, what day is it? .... so I guess September didn't really work out.

Back in October me and Benny boy Felton went to see the 'zig (Felton's pharse). Here is my response using a form of philosophical inquiry in which the questioner explores the implications of others' positions, to stimulate rational thinking and illuminate ideas.

Was I into the opening band?
Not so much ... maybe as like a goof or whatever.

Was Danzig fan-fucking-tastic at Roseland last month?
Yep.

Does the dude have a set of pipes that made me visably aroused?
Yep.

Is he balding?
Yep

Does he have a big ol gut?
Yep

Was he wearing a mesh shirt?
Yep

Did look stupendodus?
Absolutley

Was this the dude that played drums?

Yep

Is that dude the balls?
Yep

Did Tommy Victor of Prong play guitar?
Yep

Did he engerneer the best Sheer Terror record?
Yep

Did he produce the worst too?
Yep

Was the crowd a the show terrible?
Of course

Did a some fistcuffs break out?
Yep

Was I into that?
Nope

Is Roseland the worst for stopping the show at Midnight on the dot?
Yep

School's Out for Summer

So me and Felton have decided to give it a rest for a bit (if you hadn't noticed). We are gonna be back in September.

My advice to you is to watch this multiple times a day until that time comes.

Danzig- Home Video Complete
Uploaded by domchimic

Um ... What?

A while back i got the album hidden world by the band fucked up. I liked it when i first got and it has grown on me more and more as time progresses. But after reading this on their blog they are easily my favorite band in known human history. I guess they are coming out with a record on matador ... consider it purchased.

Also, John Reis ... let's go halves on a baby.


Fucked Up - No Epiphany
Fucked Up - Year of the Pig (US 7" Edit)
Fucked Up - Royal Swan

Night Marchers - Whose Lady R U

Coming Clean

hey hey duders
So lately I've come to a very sad realization, pop punk is my favorite form of music. I mean I could lie to you and pick some Brazilian pop band or church-burning metal band championed by vice magazine(although i have to admit i read that book a couple years ago ...shit was kinda ill).

However, the god's honest truth is, the following are of my favorite songs of all time. Don't worry I feel nothing but shame and bitter self-recrimination.

Smoking Popes - Need You Around


Alkaline Trio

Ain't No Party Like a Trons Party; Cause A Trons Party Don't Stop

Independence Day. Ahhhh. What a joy it is to live in a free country. In between chugging them beers and facing them apple pies, take a second to remember that -- oh shit, I'm getting a text. Hold on a sec...I forgot what my point was.

CIAO!



-Lucia

You Know What's Kinda the Funniest Shit in the World?

Hardcore

I'm Only Happy When People are Making References to the Band Garbage

It's been raining all morning here in Brooklyn. Makes me wish I lived with my band (or that I was in a band) and we ate pot cookies and jammed all day, breaking often for snacks and smoothies.

Instead I revisit this lo-fi beast (that's actually not lo-fi) on repeat for what may end up being all day:


Later. I'm going to clean my disgusting kitchen now.

-Lucia

So Real

Did you know that in the underground, integrity lies within? Me neither, but apparently it does. I guess I first heard about this in high school, when I first heard this song -- then I never heard about it again. What am I talking about?

Anyway, here's the point: '90s hardcore. I can't get enough of it and Sick of it All (SOIA) were pretty much as good as it got for me. What great attitudes those bros had. I remember seeing them on the Warped tour (It was the first one! With Quicksand! Leave me alone!) and some people started shouting our requests. The fellas pretty much just ignored the crowd until Lou Koller (i.e. one of the greatest men of all time) decided to respond. He started off all serious, sounding kinda pissed off. In a quiet tone he says something like, "Now, how long have you been coming to see us? After all this time, you should know by now (then he raises his voice) we don't do fucking requests!" It was weird for a second because he immediately followed this claim by saying, in the most playful of playful tones, "I'm just kidding. I don't want anyone to kick my ass or anything." It was crazy. It was like that scene in that movie where you think the dog is going to bite down on the guy's hand and then he licks it. Know what I'm talking about? Whatever. Also in that show he said, "We've been doing this for a long time now. But for those of you who've never seen us before, let me just tell you (and then he screams) WE CAN'T SING!!!" Pure comic genius.

This is how it's done:

Things I Like About Josh Homme:

1. Absolutley Everything

Member of the Peanut Gallery:
Some journalists & citizens on the internet & are wondering: Q? Am I a homophobe because I included a slang for gay in with other "acceptable" curse words during a verbal lashing I gave a young concertgoer, after being hit by his shoe, during a show the other day? A= Nope. My gay family & friends, as well as myself, KNOW I am not a homophobe. For years now I've known gay is not a choice; one's skin color doesn't determine one's intelligence level; & red hair doesn't mean you're someone's stepchild. You see, it's not the words, it's their intent. I never said, nor suggested, that being gay is wrong, but apparently, based on your outrage to my flu-infused rant, you do! By that logic... I also told that young whipper snapper I'd have anal sex with him... how can I possibly reconcile these opposing viewpoints? I called him a pussy too. Does it mean I hate our one worlds' collective vagina? I never have been nor intend to be politically correct. That's your cross to bear. To me, that PC world would suck more shit than the porta-potty truck at Glastonbury. Homophobic? I'm in Queens of the Stone Age for crissake... You say, "So. Your band name doesn't prove anything." Maybe not. But it's a helluv a lot more definitive than the logic of some watchdog... (sorry canine-American, canine-European, canine-African, canine-Australian & canine-Asian) moralist, keeping score from pure perfectionville? If your glass house is squeegeed that clean & you need to do something, do what the great philosopher Bill Hicks once suggested: - forgive me-. Or don't. I'm not asking for either, OK? I think you should let both of your cheeks go loose so the stick will drop out. Either way I expect that you'll soon find another injustice from your chair, then roll to your bullhorn & point it out to the rest of us... Because you're so above it all. Or If you'll allow me to translate a wish of mine into your PC lingo:

PC lingo:
Will you please go have consensual, sex with yourself.
Pretty please with all natural, carbon offset sugar on top.

Sincerely,
Mr. Missundastood
A.K.A. Joshua, Baby Duck, Jho
Head Choreographer & Do Stuff Corporation's pansexual spokes-thing

Plus the guy had "beef" with tim armstrong. how fucking good is that? On a scale of 1 to 20 it's a 57. That's how good it is.

For my main man peanut

Apparently, I'm a Neo Luddite Who Loves the MSG Network

So this post is gonna be real trite and/or banal. What am I, an English Professor?! It is about my love/hate relationship with music and the interweb. The love is part isthat i got this nugget free of charge. The downside was how "stupid" easy it was. I mean not to sound like an old kook at 28 but once upon a time you had to "find" a record. Even before that step you had to know about it. I spend hours nerding out on reading the "thank yous" at the end of albums to discover some new shit to escape my feels to ... um ... i mean rock out to.

It was like a process to get a record. The payoff, when you finally found that record after months and months of searching for it felt as though you had really accomplished something. Now you type a word (you don't even need to spell the word correctly) and bam: free music. I mean I like free shit was much as the next guy, and i have heard way more records cause the the interweb but some it just makes you feel ...well... kinda lame, no?

However I think TVs are the fucking shit! Last week I came home tired as balls and was looking for something to watch (besides the never ending bad news machine that is the new york yankees) And I watch this fucking gem of a TV program on the MSG Network (Duck Folan)

XMemorial Day WeekendX

I decided that the best way to celebrate the dead soldiers last weekend would be to take a little break from what's left of this (yawn) city.

First I decided to stay up until 4am on Friday dancing and drinking beer out of Styrofoam (much to my friend Dave's dismay -- something about mother earth) which made the drive up to the country the next day kinda rough. That is, until we got the old ipod rolling and I rediscovered my favorite music (well second favorite) -- the mighty JUD JUD.

Now, I'm sure you’ve read about these dudes on other blogs so I am merely here to remind you that this is the best band that ever was. They did acapella versions of hardcore songs by repeating the word "jud" (is "jud" a word?) over and over and over again. How fucking good is that, you ask? Well the answer is, it's really fucking good. They do spot-on version of every "type" of hardcore song. And, as those of you who were ever into hardcore know, there are only "types" of hardcore songs. I think most of the clever kids out there today just listen to a song or two and laugh. Me? I rock the fuck out to it on the subway. You know why? ‘Cause I haven't forgotten two things: the struggle and the streets. And, I've managed to avoid doing a third thing: selling out.

Go to the WFMU site and cop some songs, broham.

p.s. I ended up having a killer time Upstate. Although, honestly -- I smoked so many cigarettes. Somebody really needs to put me on punishment.

Belchertown in The House

It's gonna be obvious kinda soon that I much prefer the 90s to this asshole decade we've got going on here. So why dissapoint?

I spent a lot of time listening to the radio growing up and whenever this song came on my Mom would change the station 'cause it was too provocative:


Whatever, dude. I don't think that was called for. There was basically one decent radio station in my hood that gave us local hoodrats a decent education. But those kids have grown into total "nurses aides". And by that I mean they're all nurses aides.



-Lucia

Spring Theme

So the other day I'm sitting around reading my own posts (which I do -- a lot) and I rechecked out a link to a video of a little group of juggernauts I like to call Steely Dan. Holy shit, dude, are these guys the best-fucking-ever or what? I'm not sure if Talihan will fully support my love of these dudes, yet, but he will in time. I used to hate them when a friend of mine in college tried to turn me onto the Aja record. I was like, "bro -- how can you like this garbage? It's like smooth jazz for aging hipsters that are too wimpy to still do coke but wanna feel alive again." My friend was like, "There's one thing about Steely Dan you need to get past in order to like them. I can't articulate what it is but it exists and once you get past it, brother, the future is glorious."

Well, my friend was right. I'm not sure what that one thing is, but it really is there and I definitely got past it. I love these guys and am definitely contemplating shelling out 54 bones to see them in a few weeks. I mean, come on? You gots to be doing something right if you play a type of music that you yourself proudly categorize as "jazz-rock" and still come off as two of the toughest dudes of all time.

Anyway, it's Sunday, the weather is, as we say in the industry, fucking fantastic and I'm about to go to a rooftop cookout. What's my point? This song is in my head right now as my own personal soundtrack to the day. Spring is almost over and summer is up next, bitches. Let's get drunk before 2pm -- not kidding.



P.S. Jeff "Skunk" Baxter? I believe it's pronounced "yes-fucking-please."

p.p.s. Chevy Chase was their first drummer. No shit.

This Post is so Hip Right Now, I Think I'm Going Blind

So the other day I was bs-ing instead of studying for this final I had -- studying is kinda for the birds – and, not surprisingly, I was fucking around on youtube. Somehow this lead to me coming across the following gem:

Dude says approximately 47 fall-down funny things in this song. My personal fave being "That music really turns me on, maxes me out." This lead to me peeping a bunch of Girls Aganist Boys videos and spending the next day on some myspace page. So, I might have to take an airplane to Europe this weekender to catch a show of dude's new band. But then I thought about it and was kinda like, do i really need to hit up Bruges AGAIN? That'd be, like, my fourth trip this year. (Have you ever had the pizza in Bruggles? Well, lemme tell you it's amazing.)

It made me kinda sad actually ‘cause when GVSB actually existed I was never much of a fan. Basically I blew it. This, of course, is no shocker since I made a lot of mistakes in my youth. And hey let's face it -- adulthood hasn't been a shinning success either.

Apparently I actually did see GVSB as an adolescent. Ben reminded me of this fact but I have no memory of it whatsoever (truth be told i remember very little). But all i got to say to you Scott McCloud, you gorgeous bastard you, is hey -- that's what you get for playing before David Yow. The dude blows people off the stage for a living.

Sensitive Shreddin'

Hey gang-- guess what time it is. It's time for ol' Ben to get down on his knees and give some '90s indie-rocker the proverbial blow-j. Look out!

So -- who are the lucky bastards this time? I'll tell you.

As we all know, the good people at All Tomorrow's Parties (ATP) have been slaying us with not just reunions but performances of classic albums in their entirety. The Melvins did Houdini, we all know about Mudhoney doing Supperfuzz and recently they got Polvo to get back together to destroy the living daylights out of us. But why stop there? It was recently announced that ATP will be taking their festival to New York where Polvo, some other band who hasn't played in a while and, dudes of all dudes, Built to Spill, are going to throw down. But Built to Spill aren't just playing -- they'll be performing a certain little record called Perfect From Now On. If you're not aware of that album's power, you are either deaf or unborn. If you are aware, well, then you have a pulse.

Unfortunately, you have to be a Roc-A-Fella to afford tickets to that festival but fortunately Doug Martsch and his team of bros will be taking this on the road and you know that Talihan and I will be seeing them at Terminal 5 in September. What's that? Who's opening? Oh you know, just some little nobodies. What're their names again? Oh yeah -- Dinosaur Jr. and fucking Meat Puppets! Are you kidding me? That show is gonna be a damn monster. I feel like I heard that Meat Puppets will be performing II in its entirety. Either way, I will be put down.

But Built to Spill are definitely the biggest draw for me. The first time I saw them was on the second stage at Lollapalooza and all I really remember is that my friend Rami got, like, a migraine or something. The second time I saw them I had not only just gotten a haircut, but I also had all four wisdom teeth taken out days before and my cheeks were waaaayyy swollen. It made the top of my head look really small and the bottom look really big. What does all this mean? I guess I'm a little nervous about this show. But you know what? Fuck it! It's time to knock back some microbrews and get into a little good ol' beard-rock. Did I just write "ol'" for the second time in this post? You're damn right I did. Come on dudes -- let's kick it in the sun!

Mainlining That Local H

Hey, I'm Lucia, and I'm famous...okay, maybe not. So there's this song that pops back into my head every once in awhile. I was sitting at my computer on Sunday and I googled some of the lyrics I could remember, and then this came back into my life:

Not only does that video rule because the majority of it is just the dude cranking out some power chords with just his drummer in the background (who needs a band?) but because then I found out not only does Local H still tour, but they were scheduled to play Luna Lounge - three blocks from my house - that night! Course, I didn't go, because who gives a shit about Local H, but still.

-Lucia

If That's What They Call Normal Then I'd Rather be (Un)sane*

The other night I ended up at my buddy Dan's House. We drank some beers and burned one down on his porch, which is soon to be adorned with dart boards (this dude is kinda my idol) and there was some awful smell in his fridge. But that's neither here nor there.

So at first we were watching some cooking show where some Asian dude was carrying around some kind of mini- pterodactyl fish. I guess he was gonna cook it up. Shit was weird. So then we somehow switched to Jackass 2 with the mute on. My initial reaction is to find those dudes kinda entertaining. I mean, I like to watch shit burn or get smashed or whatever -- I'm a grown ass baby like everyone else in my generation. And let's face it -- mean-spiritedness is funny. But sometimes I just get furious at those dudes. That one dude Bam? I can't help but think "C'mon bro. Those are your parents. They gave birth to you. Give them a fucking break, fuckface." Not very punk rock but then watching it kinda turned me on, maxed me out. But at the time I'm kinda like, "You dudes are kinda the definition of lameness," which is to say I'm entertained but I hate myself for it

Speaking of Skateboards, remember how sick Unsane was? I don't have them anymore but I bet a bazillion dollars that these records stand the test of time ... plus the dude had an AK 47 tattooed to his fore arm ... bff .... big fucking balls


Apparently they have a creepy fanbase based on this video

*If you get the reference in the title then you were a ska fan and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Night Marchers Last Week

So moti, danny, and I went to see the ol night marchers last week ... felton flaked cause somebody was marrying someone else or polvo reunited or sumin.

I started out super stoaked about it but then i copped the record...and shit was kinda yawncity ... it wasn't bad just not stupendous. But shit my main man john reis know how to rock a crowd ...so i was still a little amped.

What I wasn't too amped about was opening bands ... i'll be frank ... i'm that dickhead ... honestly if i haven't heard of your band i aint coming ... i guess it would be nice and it would be a way of experiencing new things,and I could go in with an open mind, etc. ... but that aint really my style ... i prefer to hide my feeling beneath indifference, sarcasm, and humor ... wait did i just say that out loud ... moving on ...

So we got some beers at the bar around the corner ...it used to be a normal bar, but now is fancy beer spot full of duders (not the good kind).

We get there and shit is packed. So much so that we could even get into the room of the show. But we manage to squeeze in and get a bit closer ... the crowd wasn't too stoaked ...but john ries looked like a million and half dollars ... so I told him he looked fantstic ... i think he appreciated it ...i wish more people told me i look fan-fucking-tastic ... cause lord knows that's a fact ... my second question "wait, weren't you in jawbox?" ... didn't go over quite as well ... there were some boos ... and my homie Gar called me "bagged meat" ...which sorta turned me on ... i don't know if that's weird ... but hey it's the truth so I gotta admit it ...at least thats what karen hill taught me

The crowd was kind blah ...except for a couple brohams in the front ... this salty balty audience was way more siked:

Kermit is sad

I feel like for me to comment on this in any way whatsoever would just subract, rather than add, value to this nug:



The dude who made these deserves the noble peace prize or a bazillion dollars or sumin ...




Shit like this proves to me I've wasted my life ...cause I wasn;t making cover songs in a kermit voice

Uh, Pretty Damn Tough

I'm feeling pretty nostalgic for alternative rock today, dudes. I'm sitting here in Carrboro, North Carolina where the sun is shining bright and the sky is as blue as a Redd Foxx bit. I got into town on Friday and within hours I was watching Superchunk rip it up for Barack Obama. Cold brews, a little old school indie rock and getting fired up? Yes please. Then this band Arcade Fire stepped up and got epic like Les Miserables. It was truly a great day and definitely got me thinking about a little decade I like to refer to as the 90s. You know what? I'm always nostalgic for the 90s. Screw it!

Anyway, so I was shooting it with ol' Talihan today and we start talking about our favorite topic -- female musicians -- and a certain lady named P.J. Harvey came up. The only record of hers I really got into was Rid of Me but holy shit pile was that a fucking juggernaut. It was one of those records that I was way too dumb to appreciate when it came out and then years later I threw on and was like, "Damn." Seriously -- that's exactly what I was like.

Anyway, here's a little gem I found:



This is a really interesting video because it's from 1993. Apparently that was the last year it was acceptable for people to wear sunglasses on stage (except for Mick Collins). Also, that drummer gets pretty weird on those backup vocals. I'm into it.

Banal Bar

So last night ... me and danny decided to leave the apartment building we both live in to head out for some beers. Cause sometimes you just need a break from the mom being wildly abusive to her child, the rabid dog that lives upstairs, and the dude next door who makes horrendous music.

So we went to the local bar to pod ...but it was just weird and lame in there so we bounced. Dudes in there were stoaked on hockey and over charging. So we left to go check some new spot ... that turned out to be extra yuppied out.

So we ended up at some extra park slope bar... which kinda blew chunks. I noticed in the background, as I watched people play connect four and just generally lull each other to sleep, that the record playing was Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Which made me realize that Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is a record made for boring people. Now don't get me wrong I actually really liked that record...but if it is being played you are basically in a boring place with boring people (otherwise known as park slope)

I promise you if you know a really boring person, they have this record. Not only do they have it, it is prominently displaced, cause they think it speaks to some deepness about them. Like "me and Jeff Tweedy have been through a lot but luckily we found this authentic country music to help us make it through."

P.S. the guy's name is Jeff Tweedy ...unacceptable.

Appros of absolutely nothing this video for damaged goods is kinda hundred dollar biller ... fuck, Jon King puts it down on the dance floor

That being said, i like this song a lot:

Busted

I'm feeling pretty guilty these days. Actually, I've been feeling pretty guilty for, well, close to a year now. It's not because I had a pork bun during passover and it's not because I write "Haha" in text messages when I think something's funny. Shit, it's not even because I own the first two Killers records (I didn't pay for them -- I swear. Seriously. Leave me alone). It's because of a certain quartet of Jim-Johns who go by the name Against Me! (Yeah, there's an exclamation point in their name. Ugh.) Now, I'll admit I've only heard a few of their songs, but they infuriated me. Boring, dumb lyrics, blah, blah, blah. I don't even know enough about them to validate my hatred and I intend to keep it that way. But, for all their flaws, for all their toothpicks that stick me in the eye, the one thing I hate most about them is that they wrote this fucking song. This song rules. I can't stop listening to it. I paid 99 fucking cents on iTunes so I could listen to this song all the time. And I do. When I'm on my way to work, when I'm getting dressed, when I feel angry, when I wanna get fired up, when I'm cleaning the apartment -- all the time. Talihan and I went to see Mastodon about a year ago and they were opening and I was legitimately bummed that we missed them. Fuck. Heaven help me:



Alright. Let's talk about this. Street-cred is way important to me so let me tell you what I find intolerable about this first:

1. The lyrics, dude, the lyrics. I'm not trying to play my expert card, but I'm pretty sure that punk rock songs are not allowed to use the word "minimum."

2. The drummer. I'm not buying that beard or those glasses, bruh. Sorry.

3. Surprise, surprise -- lyrics again. Now, it's been a while since I graduated from college but I'm pretty sure I remember being taught that the first rule to writing a song about a junkie is DON'T USE THE WORD "JUNKIE."

4. Just about everything else about this song/video.

5. As I said, I can't stop listening to it.

Alright. Now to defend myself. Why I love this song:

1. The intro with the guitar and drums -- classic. Gets me every time.

2. The chorus has a "ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba" part. I'm really into that.

3. Uh, the...uh..I just really like it. Sorry. I hate myself.

So, in conclusion. This song blows. But if you deny the fact that it rules you are lying to yourself and everyone you know. Know what I mean? This song is kinda like a Spike Lee movie: it spells everything out for you, makes me kinda furious with white people and I keep on coming back for more. Damn. It feels so good to be bad.

Shit List

So the other week, me and felton were shooting the shit on gchat ...as we are apt to do. We were discussing the brilliance that was 120 minutes (remember this dude who was in that shitty sitcom and was in that chavez video, no not that one) P.S. Dulli and that dude: not even remotely entertaining.

Dicussions about 120 minutes are basically the only conversations me and ben have. Honestly, I don't know jack shit about this dude Ben, but god do i love him ... So anyway the conversation turn to L7 ...not to be confused with the Detroit hardcore band (not that anyone would confuse them cause no one has ever heard of the Detroit band until the stupid Internet age where learning about something is meaningless cause any fucking dilettante can learn about anything in five fucking key strokes/seconds ...or look up how to spell the word dilenttante ... what a buncha jerks)


Anyway this brings me to my point. In this conversation, i recalled they was a song called shitlist ... so here's my shitlist for this week:

1. Scarlett Johansson ... c'mon lady ...you've made it so i have to hate a decent movie ...cause you are so effing afwful... ... luckily, I never had respect for David Bowie to lose ... tom waits, i don't get it ...sorry I tired and i don't ... rain dogs is yawn city ... but back to the topic at hand ... we get it Scarlett you're vapid, cute, and super radical now go die

2. The New York Times for the way it covers culture, brooklyn , etc. ...it makes me wanna join jihad.

3. ATP in New York for thier tix prices ... cause I'm not gonna lie to you I'm very tempted.

4. The internet (see above)

This of course was too easy ...

The Best Doing the Best

There's this really cool website where you can watch all these awesome videos for free. I forget what it's called but Talihan and I will sometimes pull stuff from it for our posts. Aside from all the great home videos of babies there are some fantastic covers of some of our favorite songs.

Sometimes I feel like I like covers more than the originals simply because they're covers. Make sense? Anyway, here are some obvious favorites.

Woah! Am I rolling my face off on ex at a Manchester rave in 1983? Nope! We're just in this new-wave jugarnaut's bedroom. Awesome facial hair, bruh. Very of the times.



Oh, it's not cool to cover songs from the '90s in '07? Really? I guess I never got that mass email. Dick.



Obviously this song kicks fuckin' anus, but my man right here really takes it to the next level. He's like the John Fahey of southern alternative rock. And, may I add, he certainly presents us with a dictionary definition of a winning smile.



Well look who it is. It's our favorite human being ever. Who does he think he is, anyway? "Hey Ya?" Are you serious? I guess so.



Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.



Uh-oh. The Manchester train is pulling into the station again. This is the most right-on thing I've ever seen in my life.



Uh, holy shit much? I'm speechless. Whoa.



Maybe this is too easy, but damn this guy is lovable.



There's really not much to say here other than this is tough as balls. How can you make INXS sound as rad as Phil Lynott? Like this, I guess.



They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well this video is worth a thousand pictures. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to write and I'm really having a hard time. This video makes me horny and gives me a stomach ache all at once. I'm gonna go cry this one off.

Not to get "all political"

XXL mag interviewed one of the greatest men of all time: DMX

XXL: You know there's a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there's Hillary Clinton.

DMX: His name is Barack?!

XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.

DMX: Barack?!

XXL: Barack.

DMX: What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa? ...What the fuck?! That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that ni**a's name. You can't be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

XXL: You're telling me you haven't heard about him before.

DMX: I ain't really paying much attention.

XXL: I mean, it's pretty big if a Black…

DMX: Wow, Barack! The ni**a's name is Barack. Barack? Ni**a named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this ni**a when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit" [laughs] "That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.

On a similar topic ... I think this jay reatard guy's kinda corny "as all get out" but fuck i just can't resist a catchy 1 minute punk rock song ... damn you jay ... damn you

Hundred Dollar Biller

So last friday we went to go see the dirtbombs mail it in ... Felton tried to tell us the opening band was good, he lied to us. But we forgive him, cause he's ben fucking felton. Maybe this whole we made a concept album thing went to your head ... not sure really...but shit was just kinda ... eh ... plus i was cranky so that didn't help.

Post show, we trooped to my buddy's danny's bday gathering in the pouring rain. Shit was fun. beers got drank ... unfaltering photos of me and felton got took ... then circa 4:30 i became a 12 years old again...

We got in dave's car to drive around... and we like "dude you gotta hit us with some old rap" ... and we kinda sure dave was gonna blow it and thrown on obscure Dylan bootlegs .. but nope he came through hard body ... see i've known danny since i was 12 or sumin ...and before robbie talihan became the handsome punk rocker you see before you today ...i used to loved me some rap music ... in fact as ben is apt to point out the the first day of ninth grade i wore a basketball jersey (he claims with no tee shirt underneath ...i however dispute this claim) ... I remember vividly me and my brother used to watch NYPD blue and often note how, like Jeru the Damaja, david caruso's character "would rather bust a nut than bust a cap" ... hey we were 12 and 14 give us a break ...

Anyway we went through a cube joint, a pac banger, and then the best rap beat of all time:"they reminisce over you" ... just udd jamz, b... on the way back to brooklyn ... smoking cigs and appreciating our european decent (cause if we were black and listening to loud rap music in a car at 5am, we clearly would've been pulled over) ... good times

The main dude currently has a wildly entertaining blog called HNIC2 ... while I am not at liberty to tell you what HNIC means it's really good ...


Peep this nug:

Tired and Bored?

Yeah me too ... check this stone roses doc on youtube.

Part 1 of 6

Guy Guy, You're the Shit Shit

Dear Guy Picciotto,

Mr. Picciotto, dude, sir, brother ...

I know we don't know each other very well .. but i want you to know i miss you and know i need you back ...hell, the world needs you. Actually Fuck The World (FTW), I need you ... what I'm saying is put down that paint brush or 16 mm camera or what ever lame art shit you're doing, and get the fuck behind a microphone. Let that lady from bikini kill take care of the kid/seed ... and get out there on a stage and sing and dance for me... like a monkey ...but like a really awesome monkey who speaks, plays guitar and comes up with awesome zingers (maybe the best scene in film ever). I mean seriously, quit producing blonde redhead records and ENTERTAIN ME. I been listening to "the argument" lately ...and fuck shit that record is good.

i mean, your boy Ian sure as shit aint picking up the slack (i mean geez the guy hates fart jokes)... also tell that fucker Brendan Canty to stop producing pop punk records and sit down in front of a drum set (with cow bell) and go to town. Tell Joe Lally ...um ... actually ...don't bother telling that dude anything.

Plus your name is Guy ... how fuckin good is that ...it better be pronounced like "guy" and not some lame french/italian way. You know what I just learned, "Picciotto roughly translates to "guy" in Sicilian", you really are the fucking best guy ever, guy guy.

So what I'm saying is cut the shit guy guy, and hit me with something like this sometime soon. Dude, you are the best hypeman ever ... it so rare that the hypeman really had a legitmate career of his/her own ...think spliff star

Alternative Rock Fight

Wanna hear a discussion by some former drug addict about which was a bigger buzz bin hit song in 1994: cannonball or cut your hair? Yeah me neither really ... but it beats doing work ... and sometimes harassing people on email and being a g-chat menace gets old ... i don't know about you but this kinda makes me wanna shove stephen malkmus in a locker, and punch deal in the nose ...

from you favorite mag: time out new york, an interview with kim deal

“Cannonball” was a big crossover hit. Ever get sick of it?
No. That used to be a popular stance for indie-rockers to take. If somebody actually liked one of their songs, then they would hate the song. I was never like that.


Did the success of that song cause any jealousy among your indie-rock peers?
You know, [Pavement’s Stephen] Malkmus is being a bit of a bitch in interviews recently. One thing he said last summer referred to me as “trashy mouth.” And he just did this article in Spin where he alluded to me unpleasantly, saying [something like], “You know, I always thought that Pavement could have had one of those big hits in the early ’90s with ‘Cut Your Hair,’ but I guess people preferred ‘Cannonball.’ ”

Are you a fan of his music?
Yeah, I liked Pavement. But if he keeps fucking smacking his mouth off about me, I’m going to end up not being able to listen to any of their fucking records again. Anyway, I thought, God, man, “Cut Your Hair” isn’t as good of a song as “Cannonball,” so fuck you. How’s that? Your song was just a’ight, dawg. (i heart Francesa ... he is the most preposterous human being evah)

I'm Messing With Texas

Hola, dudes. That's Spanish for, "I'm on a mini-vacation in Austin, bitches!" I write this post from a little area outside of my room at the San Jose Hotel in this beautiful, sunny (not really) post-college town. A friend of mine recently tracked down and bought a ridiculously cute French Bulldog puppy and he's located in San Antonio. So we flew down yesterday morning, chilled out in Austin, are going to get the little man today and then we'll drive back for one more night in this magical little town.

This is my first time here and, so far, this is what I've learned:

1. Fish tacos with cabbage at Guero's are enough to make a grown man cry.

2. 6th street is where I'll probably find my wife.

3. It doesn't matter who they are - if a band covers Dire Straits, Superchunk and the Boss all in one set, life is good.

4. Smoking may not always look cool (it usually does) but it does make you look happy and I wish I never quit. JK...not really.

So that's exactly where I'm at right now. Have a good Sunday.



Oh, and p.s. GO HEELS!!!

Happy 120

It's been a while since the last 120 Minutes post and I'm glad to say we're back. This week I want to talk about a very special group of young men. These guys were not afraid to mix ska, funk, punk and metal on every record. That is maybe the lamest thing anyone has ever said but you know what? I don't give a shit. In this situation I get a pass because I'm talking about the mighty, mighty Fishbone. These dudes were fucking nuts and I loved it. I couldn't believe my ears the first time I heard them and they quickly became one of my favorite bands. I remember the first time I saw them live. It was at the late, great Academy in NYC and they just killed it. It was the first time I ever crowd surfed and I remember some 280 pound man in the pit throwing fierce punches in the air, which was weird and terrifying. After the show, we waited out back to get autographs and when singer Angelo Moore stepped outside I expected him to really appreciate my praises. Shockingly, he couldn't give any less of a shit if his asshole was sewn shut and he tried to sell me a book.

There's not much more to say about these dudes. I don't really know why I liked them so much and am sort of humiliated that I'm doing a post about them. But I gots a sweet-spot for 'em so there. I think that when I was younger I was psyched about anything that was kinda weird and that's probably why I had more band t-shirts in high school than girlfriends (I had one band t-shirt). Whatever it was, they got me fired up and that's that. Talihan was never a big fan but I think we can both agree that this jam is pretty business. Let's get caught in the mosh.

You Ever Seen Two Aging Alternative Rock Stars?

So me and Felton (aka the handsome punkrockers ) and Julia and Kristi went see ourselves some gutter twins live and in person ... so we meet up before hand and drink some beers and burn one down ... when we got to the club I realized I was REAL fucking stoned ... the kind of stoned where you kind of wish you weren't stoned (i'm pretty sure i looked like this walking around webster hall). Then, there was a shitload of smoke-machine smoke being pumped in the building and it was super dark and I was kinda loosing it.

So I took a minute to get my act together and sent a text or two to my buddy nick
"I’m real stoned in a weird environment ... shit's kinda the worst" ... to which he replied "oh boy you are in that zone now? That's the worst shit ever ... p.s. just in case you were wondering ...yes, everyone is staring at you"... then a minute later ""I’m not even texting you ... you are hallucinating" ...

10 minutes later Dulli and Langegan put on one heck of a performance. (check later for full review) all I’ll say is this: you never saw either their faces cause it was back lit in purple, the intro was a long violin thing, and at one point dulli said "c'mon new york ...lemme hear ya ... yeah!" it was so over-the-top preposterous ... it was amazing .. check here for a clip ... and check this one ... you can hear some broham yellout "greg dulli you're a fucking god" before the song ... i can't say i disagree with the young man

You Ever Seen Two Aging Alternative Rock Stars? ... You Ever Seen Two Aging Alternative Rock Stars ON WEED?

anyway they came out with a video ... dulli looks like a bloated mess ... I love it

All Misery / Flowers


ps ben's obsessed with atom and his package it's weird

Krishna-Core

A little while back, Talihan and I went to see the Melvins/Big Business play at the Luna Lounge in Brooklyn. Obviously we wrecked it that night in ways that most people don't wreck anything in a lifetime, but the real treasure came after the show. While standing outside some lame-o vegetarian joint so Talihan could get a damn not-dog or something, we spotted a young lady with a fucking Shelter tattoo. If you've read this blog before, then you know what we like. Hardcore got us through some tough times and Shelter were no exception.

I sure would love to talk about the Krishna ways for a bit, but I couldn't know any less about it if I tried. However, I do remember this. When I first visited Chapel Hill, I had a free lunch on the campus of UNC. The local Krishna dudes used to serve a vegetarian feast for the right price of nuttin' and it was delicious. Beans were an item on the menu and on this particular day, somebody made too much. I heard the Krishna boss say to the guy who was serving us, "Hey, we got extra beans. Make sure you give everyone lots of beans." So up our turn came and our server, who was inked the fuck up, looks at us with a smile and says in his charming southern drawl, "Ya'll like beans? You know what they say about beans? They're the magical fruit. The more you eat, the better you feel." I've never been more stunned. A Krishna dude making a fart joke? Yes Please.

Anyway, here's the message of the Bhagavad

One More, in a Long List of Reasons to consider Buring Down the Offices of Entertainment Weekly

I looked on that site Stereogum and found this. God sometimes the interweb makes me blind with rage:


Why do we love indie rock? Because it shuns everything that is prefab, safe, typical. It's about freedom, expression, passion -- no rules, man!


1984: The Replacements - Let It Be ... one of my fav records ever and somehow way overrated ... quite a feat

1985: The Smiths - Meat Is Murder ... i can think of at least 2 smiths records better than this

1986: R.E.M. - Life's Rich Pageant ... remember when michael stipe starting wearing minor threat shirts in the late 90s and hanging with courtney love ... that was weird

1987: Dinosaur Jr. - You're Living All Over Me ... i once wrote a paper in college about j and lou through the lens of lacanian theory ... i did not do well on said paper

1988: Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation ... never really got this record ... i tired

1989: The Pixies - Doolittle ... i'll go with old b. francis on his own ...thanks

1990: Fugazi - Repeater my first 'cool' record ...

1991: My Bloody Valentine - Loveless ...i got nothing

1992: Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted ... i'll save you hearing summer babe for the 80 bazillionth time

1993: Built To Spill - Ultimate Alternative Wavers ... the later built to spill album was the one to have ... think I'd rather hear !!destroy-oh-boy!!

1994: Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand ... hey robert pollard if you read this ... let's get some buds and some packs of cigs and bro out

1995: Archers Of Loaf - Vee Vee ... they have better records ... and yet still none of them are all that good

1996: Belle And Sebastian - If You're Feeling Sinister ... i like this record but i hate this band's whole deal ... it just annoyed me

1997: Modest Mouse - Lonesome Crowded West .. the first three modest mouse records are kinda business ... the last couple ... not so much

1998: Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea ... this record's about anne frank or something and the dude is bat shit crazy

1999: Sleater-Kinney - The Hot Rock ... putting this on this list is basically like saying ... girls exist in the world ... that being said the records before and after are better

2000: Yo La Tengo - And then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out ... the record before this was better ... a thousand indie kids put this on a mix tape for a girl who wanted to grow up and become a librarian

2001: The Shins - Oh, Inverted World ... if you make songs bland enough for micky d's then you should just throw in the towel and go in house and make commercials for multi national corporation ... unless of course you are mr. c the slide man ... then your street cred will last you FOREVER ... ps you helped zach braff's career continue ... UNACCEPTABLE ... they did take H2O's advice

2002: Interpol - Turn on the Bright Lights ... were they horribly derivative? yes. Was this song catchy as shit? yes

2003: The White Stripes - Elephant ... i fucks with 7 nation army

2004: Arcade Fire- Funeral ... anyone who is a huge fan of this band thinks they are more intelligent than they are ... and are probably 22

2005: Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning ... can this guy shoot himself already ... geez ... we get it, you don't like bush ...we don't care

2006: The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America ... the first bad record they made ... but im sure the rest they make will be equally as bad if not worse ... i'm kinda dying to punch the main dude in the nose (note: I haven't punched some in 15 years)

2007: Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga ... like every spoon record ever ... it's killer for 3 months then you realize how truly boring it is

2008: Radiohead - In Rainbows ... i didn't bother buying it